


To make another deal

by NeverBeenACorpse



Series: Crowstiel: Another deal [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kissing, Demon Deals, Feelings, Humanity, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unrequited Love, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenACorpse/pseuds/NeverBeenACorpse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILERS ALERT - THIS TAKES PLACE IN THE SETTING OF THE BEGINNING OF 9TH SEASON<br/>.<br/>Castiel has gotten back his grace (kind of) but is still haunted by his brief touch with humanity. His confused and unresolved feelings, that became prominent only after he lost his grace and fell, keeps him from keeping focused. Especially around Dean.<br/>Filled with feelings he can't control, and without any outlet, he goes to the one person that might understand - Crowley, which Dean and Sam still have chained down in the dungeon. Crowley, as any demon, was once human, and so he must understand, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why so gloomy?

**Author's Note:**

> I had a dream. A very unexpected and somewhat weird dream, since I'd never thought of Crowley in... well, a sexual way, but when I told friends about it, they demanded to have it written into a fic.  
> So, here you go! :D  
> (This is NOT the dream in question, as the dream included golden shopping malls, free chocolate-candies and my personal family, among the SPN-cast, but this is directly inspired by key events in the dream; mainly, the incredibly hot sex scenes between Crowley and Castiel, and Cas longing for a Dean that sees him only as a friend, which Crowley respects and offers an outlet for)

The room was way too dark and Cas couldn’t see much. Feeling his wings again, he felt better, but he knew his grace was not his, and he didn’t feel whole. Really, it had been a lot longer since he felt truly whole, if ever. He didn’t want to think about it, but it got into his head, with every move when his wings just didn’t feel… natural. They were, as much as angel-wings were ’natural’ in a world of humans, but they were not his own, and it seemed obvious, and way too prominent.  
Sadly, he had other thoughts to occupy himself with. Namely the Winchesters, and Crowley, bound to a chair with iron and sigils and the demon-trap painted on both floor and roof. No happy thoughts to occupy his mind from other unhappy thoughts, just a spiral of disaster upon disaster and betrayal.  
The brothers walked into the room first, greeted as always by Crowley’s ”Hello, boys” before he saw Castiel, and the fury in his eyes, which would humble any demon or monster in his path but Crowley, he just smiled, and greeted him with yet another nickname ”Hello, feathers. What brings you down here, to this lavish party they’re holding for me? I feel so spoiled.”  
”Shut up Crowley.” Dean slammed his hands into the table in front of Crowley, who’s only reaction was to avert his eyes slightly with his regularly bored expression, which only made Cas more doubtful that this would ever work.  
”You gave us false information, asshat.” Sam, this time, pacing slowly in front of Crowley, and not in the mood to play ’bad cop’. ”Abbadon knew we were coming! The whole thing was a trap!”  
Dean yanked the chains around Crowley’s neck. ”Did you set us up for this, you lying shit?”  
”Why would I ever give you up to that tactless bitch? She’s all rage and carnage and none of the finesse that would make a king! Which both of you prove, by just being alive! If I wanted to kill you, and if I EVER, Lucifer forbid, decided to work with Abbadon, do you really think you both would live through it?” Crowley seemed personally insulted at the idea, which Cas found somewhat amusing; a demon, planning to work TOGETHER with another demon? Preposterous!  
”You seemed to have no trouble trying to kill us before the angels fell, did you now? I think I even remember you personally giving the order to have your best do us both out, huh? Remember, back when…”  
”Dean, stop. You’re not helping.”  
Dean looked back at Cas, with wrath in his eyes. The wrath had nothing to do with Castiel and he knew it, even now when he interrupted Dean in the middle of an interrogation, but it felt way to personal. He knew it wasn’t; but considering everything between them, it was hard to stop his mind from twisting it into something else then it was. Especially since Dean probably wouldn’t remember it at all, and if he did, it wouldn’t be something he’d discuss. He didn’t mean it, so how could Cas ever interpret it as such? Just be happy and play along, ’old friend’. Cas could almost hear it, those words, that friendly slap on his shoulder, everything he’d treasured so much before… Well, before he became human.  
He learned so much after he fell. About humans, about needs, about… feelings. Especially his own. And, with that, the knowledge that the feelings weren’t mutual.  
As Sam and Dean drew back, having gained at least some reaction from Crowley, Cas stood still, watching with empty eyes. The whispering voices wasn’t low enough to escape him, but he felt he had nothing to add, as he himself had only gotten there after it was all done. Just in time to save the brothers ass, not that they’d admit as much, but not in time to grasp what was going on. So, he kept his role as watcher; watching their prisoner and prey.  
Which seemed to be way too content considering his present condition and housing.  
”What’s the matter, feathers? Cat got your tongue? Don’t feel like getting a go on your old business partner? Not even for old times sake?”  
”Be quiet. I have nothing to say to you.”  
”Oh don’t be such a sourpuss, now, aren’t you supposed to be the cheery one? A little fat man with white wings and shining hair, soaring through the sky with your little angel buddies? Oh, that’s right - you left them all, to save the world, right? To spend more time with a certain dark-haired…”  
”Enough! Quiet you lying tongue or I’ll take it from you.”  
”Oh, so there’s some fire down there after all, ain’t it? I thought you burned it all out, back when you tried to play God…”  
Cas wasn’t in the mood, not even slightly so; just a step, and a change in posture, and he had his hand on Crowleys forehead, staring down into the dark eyes as he focused his energy to battle Crowley’s, to control him, banish him, whatever it took to make him shut up.  
”Cas? Cas! What are you doing, stop!”  
Sam called out, but Dean ran forward, pushing Cas away and breaking the connection, almost tackling Cas to the ground in the process.  
”What the fuck, dude? What were you trying to do, banish him? We NEED him, no matter how awful it is having him chained down here, but we still need him!”  
Crowley laughed, which turned into coughing, before interrupting Dean with surprisingly controlled voice, considering: ”Oh, I love you too, you big meanie!”  
”Shut up!” Dean turned back to Cas. ”You know he’s a mean old bastard, and a lying bitch. You can’t listen to him, he’ll only bank your chain and watch you dance, you know that.”  
”Yes, I do know. I’m sorry, I’ll leave you to your work, least I get in the way.”  
With a thought, he was out of the dungeon, away from Dean’s steady hands, up in the open study, hands clasped and leaning heavily over the table.  
For minutes, all he thought of was Dean’s hands on his arm and shoulder, combined with that hateful glare not meant for him, but still aimed at him by chance, and now the concerned, almost worrying look he’d given him before he left.  
”You only care when you need me.” Cas whispered to himself, hoping that saying it out loud would mak it sound wrong, unreasonable, but it only sounded more sane. Dean only did care, when he needed him, didn’t he? Even when Cas tried to die, Dean wouldn’t let it happen; because he needed him. Having an angel on call was lifesaving.  
Not that Cas could blame him, it was invaluable for mortals to have such assistance, even mortals such as the Winchesters, but still. Cas had done a lot more then just assist them. So far, he’d died (and been brought back, by God himself), fallen from grace, become human, and killed… And nothing of it changed anything. ’Old friend’, indeed. Friendship with a hunter only ever balanced on being useful.  
Minutes passed, and Cas could feel them go by; a reminder of how it was to be human, feeling mortality at every breath, every second passing by. It had really changed him. He’d understood so much of the brothers behaviours.  
He sighed. He felt like he’d understood too much, and now there was no way to give that knowledge back. 

”Hey, Cas! I didn’t think you’d be here still, man!” Dean walked up to him, slapped his back, and took the chair next to Cas, sitting down with his usual grace-less manner. ”What happened down there? What did Crowley say that made you go all angelic on his ass?”  
”It was… nothing I should dwell on, but he twisted his words, and it caught me of guard.” True enough; Sam and Dean hadn’t heard Crowley’s whispered words, as they’d only been ment for himself, and he hadn’t expected that. He’d been too deep into his own mind, his own unhappy feelings, and they had no reason to know any details about that. His mind, his secrets. ”It won’t happen again, I can assure you.”  
”It’s okey, I mean, it’s Crowley after all. We’re just worried about you, you seem a bit… off, lately.” Sam sat down opposite Cas and Dean, sharing the same look as his brother, and Cas felt like sighing again. Of course they could feel it; they’d been human a lot longer then he had, they knew how to read feelings of other humans as easy as breathing, it seemed.  
”Being human was a lot more intense then I ever could have guessed. I think I understand a lot more now, but it came at a cost, and I just think I’m more in tune with these… emotions you humans keep having. It’s just, well, new.”  
”What, you never felt anything up in Heaven?” Sam asked, not seeming to believe it.  
”Well, it would explain why you never had sex at least.” Dean, of course. Cas tried not to blush, or show of any emotion from inside of himself. He didn’t know if he succeeded.  
”Feelings are different when you’re immortal, and eternal. You don’t need them, not when your orders come from God himself, so why dwell on it? Being human, with needs and social codes and no direct orders from anywhere - the feelings become the only thing guiding you. It’s overwhelming, really. And now, the feelings I never thought about before, are…” Cas stopped. He didn’t want to continue. He didn’t want anyone to ever guess or suspect anything. Luckily, they seemed to get the point anyway.  
”Well, it explains a lot. You’re just having an existential crisis then! No biggie.” Dean slapped his back, again, with a big smile that Cas tried to return, but Dean had already turned around to Sam.  
”So, about the demon in the basement… do you believe him? That he didn’t know?”  
Sam thought, and responded, and they began to discuss, plan and debate how they should continue, and how much they could trust a King of Hell on his word. Cas heard a few words here and there, but didn’t take part. He didn’t feel like much at all. 

There must be something he could do. Something, anything; what had they talked about, earlier, before going off and getting dinner, and information, and sleep? What had they realised, or planned, or anything? There must be something, right?  
Right?  
They couldn’t trust Crowley, that was for sure, but a lot of the things he said did make sense. How could he have known Abbadon would set a trap for them, and did he really want her dead more then both of them? Questions went unanswered in his mind as he walked the halls of the bunker, Dean and Sam sleeping soundly in their rooms. This time, the paus between waking intervals, were the most frustrating. There was nothing to do but think, think! The same simple thoughts running around his head, memories and conversations were specific words never stopped changing importance of meaning, where every little nuance in voice, touch, act was something to ponder for hours. All because of being human for not more then a few months, at most. How did they stand this? These feelings, all their lives, these… God, he just wanted it gone! He just…  
Maybe he could do something. Maybe. Crowley had a lot of knowledge, and a lot of answers, as always, and rarely shared them with anyone, except for a deal. Making deals with devils were never good, Cas should know, having done it himself and gotten the bad end of it, but his was different. The devil, or demon to be precise, was chained up in their own dungeon. He couldn’t refuse anything, right?


	2. A deal well made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding himself facing Crowley, the King of Hell and prisoner of the Winchester brothers, Castiel is offered a deal that doesn't seem to have any downside. But how much can you trust a demon, even one offering fair deals?

Castiel stood outside the closed door to the dungeon, with thoughts he didn’t want to think and feelings he shouldn’t have to feel. He was an Angel of the Lord, a guardian of all life on Earth and had been given the task to personally lift Dean Winchester from Hell to Earth.  
But that seemed to very long ago.  
He pushed open the door, hidden behind shelves of strange things even the brothers didn’t know what it was for, and was greeted by a smiling face and staring eyes.  
”Ruffles! Why, I’d thought I’d never see you again, not after you trying to banish me in front of the Winchesters. I can’t say I’m disappointed in you, especially now when Kevin’s gone, really sad that, and the boys just…”  
”Quiet. I have questions, and I want you to answer them.”  
”Oh, I like it when you get all dominant like that; it really fits that meat-suit of yours, with those piercing eyes.”  
Cas’s mood was low before, and it only got worse. He thought to end this, to walk away and forget this ever happened, before he did something he’d regret, but he didn’t. Instead he walked closer, standing tall in front of the table that held Crowley, looking down on that smirking face.  
”Did you have questions or did you just come here to eye-fuck me without the boys interrupting?”  
Crowley didn’t even change a muscle, except the small smirk he always had when teasing and prodding, like now. Cas frowned and looked away, pacing the small room, feeling Crowleys eyes upon him without interruption. What did he even want to ask? This wasn’t a good idea at all, why was he still here?  
After a while, he heard Crowley sigh, and turned to look at him, but only discreetly.  
”Feathers, you didn’t come here to pace and take part of my lovely company, no matter how much it pains me to admit it. So I suggest you start talking, or find yourself some other outlet for those repressed emotions of yours, or you’ll be stuck like this until Dean himself comes to find you, and they’ll ask all kinds of boring and invasive questions.” Cas stopped, and actually looked at Crowley, whom seemed to be nothing but mildly curious and attentive.  
”First; I want you to stop talking about Dean, or I’ll be out of here and never regret it.”  
Crowley eyed the ceiling before getting back to Cas. ”If that makes you happy; deal.”  
Cas wanted to scoff and put this provoking demon in his place, but instead frowned discreetly, and continued. ”Second, I don’t want you to mention this visit to the Winchesters. They got enough on their plate.”  
At this, Crowley seemed to genuinely light up. ”Oh, we’re keeping secrets now, are we? Seems like you’ve grown up to be quite the bad one, keeping secrets with demons above everything else.”  
”And what’s that supposed to mean?” Cas didn’t want to be baited like this, but his newly turned up temper, curtesy of spending time as human, didn’t let him think before acting.  
”It’s supposed to mean that I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, since this might be the most fun I’ve had since Sam tried to cure me. So, bad boy, what is it you really want?”  
At this, Cas got quiet. He really hadn’t thought this through at all, had he? Information; that’s what he was after, getting through to Abbadon, handling these emotions, trying to be… less human. But how could he bring any of that up, without outing himself too much, or giving Crowley, a DEMON, enough leverage over him to start blackmailing him?  
”Do you remember being human?”  
Crowleys expression changed to something more dark and closed off, and he leaned forward, putting weight on his elbow resting on the table.  
”So, this is what it’s all about? Your humanity getting the better of you?”  
”Stop asking questions and answer mine!” Cas spat through gritted teeth. Crowley scoffed.  
”Touchy, are we? I guess that’s a yes, then. And before you start crying, yes, I’ll answer, and yes, I have some vague, obscure memory of what my short time as a human was like. And let me tell you, it’s clearly overrated.”  
”How so?”  
”For starters, there’s so much… Oh, what’s the word again, uh, feelings! Especially regret, angst and that never-ending feeling of your own mortality. That and having to interact with all those other bean-bags filled with meat and hormones through civil means. Hell is so much simpler like that, all you have to do is either lie a lot, or torture the right soul, and voila! King of Hell. Isn’t it sweet?”  
”How…” Cas hesitated. What was he even asking? WHY was he even asking? He should stay quiet and walk away. ”… When does it go away?”  
For a moment, everything was quiet. Cas looked once at Crowley, then stood still and admired the table between them, ignoring Crowley as he looked him over, again and again, without so much as a single sign of emotion passing over his face. Cas almost started shifting his feet nervously, deep in his own regret and accompanying thoughts, when Crowley spoke once again.  
”It doesn’t, if you want the easy answer. The other answers contain information you really shouldn’t have, being and angel and all, and some answers you just don’t want to know. Trust me. Ignorance is, indeed sometimes, bliss.”  
”No. No, I won’t accept that. There has to be something, anything, to make it go back to what it was, to make these thoughts disappear and make everything easy again. There has to!”  
Cas walked away, then back, unsure where to put his feet, not looking at anything in particular, holding his hands to his face, almost completely forgetting where and with whom he was. In silence, Crowley looked on, that empty mask of a face still as unresponsive as ever.  
”Suck it up, feathers, because it ain’t gonna change. You’ll just have to do what every other soul out there has to, and deal with it.”  
”But how could I do that? How can anyone ever deal with this? I don’t even know where to start!”  
”Hey, hey, don’t loose your focus now, will you? You’re here for a reason, and it ain’t to spill your emotional guts before me, that’s for god damn sure.” Cas stilled, and looked Crowley straight in the eyes. Crowley looked back just as intense. ”If this is about getting Heaven patched up again, I can’t help you. Sorry, wrong floor, nothing I can do there. Same with finding Abbadon; if I could help you with that, believe me, I fucking would. I want that bitch dead more then you, I’ll bet my non-existent soul on it. But if this is about you taking a turn topside, getting some of that human interaktion you’ve been missing out on, or about a special dark haired stud, then I might have some tricks to help you cope with it.”  
Cas turned to face Crowley, not letting his eyes wander, and without remarking on Crowley’s mention of that dark haired… whatever. Crowley smiled, his typical over-confident half-smile, and rattled his chains somewhat.  
”And what do you want in return?”  
”Now here’s a smart lad; never accept a demon-deal without reading the fine print, am I right? Of course I am, I made the god damn rules. So, here it is: I give you all the tricks I have to, peacefully, deal with pesky human left-over feelings, and all you have to do…” Crowley held up the chains around his wrists. ”… is to take these off.”  
”Never…!”  
”Hey, hear me out! I’m not asking you to set me free and blame the dog, I’m just asking for a stroll around the table. Sitting here in this chair all night and day really wears you out, specifically since none of you boys ever come visit me anymore. Now you only come when you want something, not like before, when you could swing by just to throw a punch or two. Ah, the good old days.”  
While Crowley seemed to drift off, Cas took a few steps back, realising what he were actually doing; talking to Crowley, without telling the Winchesters about it, and actually considering letting the demon stroll around his cage. He watched the chains, now visible as Crowley’d put his hands purposely on the table, and they were solid iron, etched with symbols and signs, made especially to keep powerful demons at bay. But that wasn’t the only thing keeping him here, was it? The whole place was warded and controlled, not to mention the still fully functionally demon-trap on the floor. Cas looked it over quickly, and it seemed to have all its markings and colour still where it should be. No reason to think Crowley’d be able to get out of here, and even if against all odds he did, he wouldn’t get anywhere. With the Winchester brothers sleeping close by, and the whole place practically swimming with demon-repellant and traps, taking a pair of cuffs off seemed like barely worth the worry.  
But he wasn’t really considering this, was he? Cas shook his head slightly.  
”Only the cuffs?”  
”Nothing else, I promise! Well, my promise ain’t worth much, but I NEVER go back on my deals. So, if you let me out of my cuffs, I’ll answer your questions about those pesky humans and their humanity. Just don’t tell the boys, right?”  
Cas stared at him. ”And you’ll let me lock you back up when we’re done?”  
Crowley sighed. ”Yes, I will. I hoped you’d forget that part, but I guess it would be quite redundant if the boys came down and found me roaming around the room, right? I bet they wouldn’t believe it if I told them that these pesky cuffs couldn’t hold my impressive virility for long.”  
”Deal.” Cas felt his heart sink  
”Wonderful! Well, you first, flyboy.” Crowley shook his cuffs at Cas, but Cas didn’t move at first. ”Oh, come on. Don’t let this end like the last deal we had! No one wants that much drama, not even me.”  
”Don’t you demons seal your deals with kisses? Like you did with Bobby Singer?”  
At this, Crowley laughed out loud, throwing his head back and Cas tried to not change his expression. Laughter was incredibly contagious for humans, and he still didn’t feel quite alright about all this, so he felt stuck behind the choice of laughing it all away and turning around and leaving. Or maybe throw a punch, but that would probably have the opposite reaction to what he wanted. Crowley calmed down somewhat, but was still laughing and even had a tear he needed to dry away.  
”Oh feathers, is that what you’re worried about? I’ll promise you I’ll go easy on you. No tongue. You barely even have to open your mouth.”  
”What? You think THAT worries me?”  
”Well why else would you bring it up? I mean I’ve got nothing against kissing pretty boys like yourself, but from my knowledge you haven’t even tried it. Unless you had a go while being human; I must admit, being locked up in this blasted dungeon really hampers me with keeping up on current events.”  
”Look” Cas felt focused again, felt in control; he needed to be, if he was actually doing this. Loosing focus around demons, even chained ones, were never a good idea. ”If this is going to work I need you to stop this incessant teasing, or the deal will be off.”  
But even though Cas put all his anger behind his words, all Crowley did was lean forward, meeting his eyes without a hint of doubt or fear. ”You already made the deal, pretty boy.”  
Cas faltered, for a moment, hoping Crowley didn’t notice. ”We still haven’t signed the deal, so whatever you’re implying, I’ve not done anything that binds me to it.”  
”Well, shouldn’t we change that, then? All you need to do is come a little bit closer. And as long as you don’t renegade, I’ll keep my end of the bargain; you know I always keep my deals.”  
”But not your promises.”  
”Well, I’m a demon after all; you can’t expect me to be perfect. Not more then what I already am, at least.”  
Cas was on the verge of talking again, saying something to trigger even more unnecessary banter, but instead he took a deep breath, and calmed down. He was loosing focus again. He wasn’t here to engage in wordplay with Crowley. He’d come for a reason. A very, very stupid reason, but still. And if what Crowley said was true… then he needed to keep his end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda promised a kiss in this chapter... and uhm sorry. I'll post again soon tho, no worries, and LOTSA KISSUS! Or something. You'll see ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To seal the deal, a kiss needs to be exchanged. Surprisingly enough for Castiel, the kiss turns to much more then just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me any bad writing and spelling and please leave kudos and comments if you have something on your mind <3  
> Hugs and kisses (and such, well, read on...) >:D

”I’m going to unlock your cuffs, but you’ll still be bound to the chair.”  
”Oh come one, that’s not even close to being fair! I said I wanted to stretch my legs, and I can’t do that if I’m fucking chained to the seat, now can I?”  
”Well, okey. But only if you promise…”  
”Yeah, I promise to get back in, I’ll even include it in the deal. No worries. It’s not like I can get out of here anyway.”  
Cas nodded and walked closer. ”Stay still.”  
Crowley held his hands up, and Cas leaned in closer to look them over. The warding was different then he was used to, but nothing over the top, and they weren’t made for keeping angels. He touched the metal, felt the coolness seep into his fingers, his mismatched grace burning somewhat as he drew the magic away long enough for the cuffs to fall of.   
Crowley pulled his hands back, massaging the wrists and sighing with relief. ”And now, the rest of them.”  
Cas stood back up, pretended to brush something off his coat to get an excuse to move, as the grace inside him still burned somewhat, his wings not fully under his control. ”The ones on your feet?”  
”No, on my dick; of course they’re on my feet.”  
Cas gave Crowley a pointed glare, but walked around the table to touch the chair Crowley was bound to; once again, feeling the warding, the coolness seeping into his fingers and burning his grace, until the sound of metal on metal signaled that the cuffs were open, and Crowley stretched out his legs before leaning back.   
”Finally! You know how long I’ve been in that chair? Me neither, but at least days. DAYS! With nothing else then the occasional visit from the boys and… well, thanks, anyway.” Crowley carefully stood up, with slow and controlled movements, and Cas took a step back to give him the room.   
”So…” Crowley brushed a few wrinkles from his suit. ”You had questions?”  
”Yes… well, it’s about… eh…”  
Crowley gave Cas a look that he didn’t really understand, and he felt some kind of warmth spread over his face. ”Let me guess. It’s about Dean.”  
”Eh…”   
”Of course it’s about Dean. It always is, with you, isn’t it? I thought you had it quite bundled up by now, but I guess I was wrong.”  
Crowley walked around the table, and stood facing Cas, who stood his ground, adamant not to be cornered by him. ”Being human is… emotions. I’m not used to them. I need your help to get them out.”  
Crowley smiled, and looked Cas over. ”Now, Shirley, you must know that’s not how it works. You can’t just up and leave feelings behind, not even when you’re a supernatural creature like us two.”  
”Then what can you do to help me? You must know something, else you wouldn’t make the deal. You can’t deal with something you don’t have!”  
”Actually, I can, but I’ll be nice to you, and really, it’s not my style doing bad deals like that. I actually do have some suggestions and maybe something that can help, but first I’ll need you to cooperate.”  
”I’ve already done my part.” Cas felt uncomfortable, being this close the Crowley, but he wasn’t going to show it.   
”Part of it, but far from all. As you said earlier, a deal isn’t made without a kiss; so, I’ll need you to lean down a bit.”  
”Eh…”  
”I’ll be gentle, I promise.”   
Cas hesitated. ”You said we already closed the deal.”  
”Yeah, yeah, but don’t you want to be sure? What if I was lying?”  
”Why are you doing this?” Now, Crowley was actually too close, and Cas couldn’t stop thinking of it. This wasn’t going as planned. Not that he had a plan, but this was definitely not part of it.   
”I’m just keeping my part of the deal.”  
Cas met his eyes, insecure and nervous. He’d lost control. This was a bad thing. He should get out, get away from here, but he couldn’t leave Crowley like this, so he had to play along, or else the deal would be off and Crowley wouldn’t get back in his seat and if they fought the brothers would definitely notice and come running and that would be way worse. Cas thought about Dean. Maybe this was part of the deal? What would be bad about it?  
Why was he so fucking nervous?  
Because he wasn’t in control?   
Crowley was too close now, eyes slyly looking at Cas, expecting something but not sure what, and Cas didn’t know either. So he did what the pizza man did - he kissed him.   
Lips touching, pressed against each other as Cas bent forward, holding Crowley’s arms and pushing him closer. Crowley tried to push back, but seemingly half-hearted, either because of the shock or because he didn’t really want to, but Cas took control and turned them both around, so that Crowley had his legs and thighs pressed against the solid table, with Cas pressing him against it.   
He let his lips relax, from a tight frown to a much more sensual feeling, and they naturally separated as he did; Crowley was fast in letting his hands slide around Cas’s hips and waist, and he felt the tip of a tongue not his own slide slyly in between his now open lips. He closed his eyes fully and let his own tongue meet with it.   
It was hot, and moist, much like Meg or the reaper who’d used him, but quite different even as it was alike; their tongues met and Cas tried to keep up, but he didn’t really know what to do with every limb and muscle he controlled, while Crowley seemed to be in his preferred element. His tongue slid between Cas’s lips, over his own, tasting and touching, while his lips were still soft and inviting against Cas’s own, and with hands that had found themselves in between the coat and his shirt. Trying to wrestle back control, Cas put his own hands around Crowley, giving himself to the kiss more deeply, taking more initiative and focusing on nothing else but his mouth, his hands, and his… wait, this wasn’t supposed to happen, what…  
Cas pulled away, looking down, unsure of what was happening to his vessel, while Crowley stood leaned against the table and laughed.   
”Wow! Well color me surprised but that was much more then I’d hoped for, butterfly! What, with the tongue, and hands, and the, the… the erection!” He was leaning on his hands, propped on the table, almost like his legs wouldn’t keep him fully upright, but he still threw a hand out, gesticulating in the general direction of Cas’s crotch.   
”This… this was not planned…”  
”It rarely is, pretty-boy, especially when it’s not even your own body. Seems you meat-suit has quite the taste for this kind of thing, or else…” Crowley looked up at Cas and smiled, a very naughty and sly smile. ”… maybe it’s just your energy, pressing through the container.”  
”Shut up! You’re supposed to help me!”  
”But who said I ain’t? I’m taking your mind off things, ain’t I? I keep you from drifting off, from longing for things you can’t have, focused and present!”  
”This wasn’t what I asked for! I asked for answers, for help, not for… for this!”  
”Well then too bad, because you’ve made the deal, and this is what I got to offer.” Crowley stood straight, holding his hands up and seemingly inviting Cas to touch him again.   
Cas didn’t know what to say, so he just shook his head, pulled his coat back around himself, and turned to leave.   
”Aren’t you gonna lock me up before you go, at least? I’ll be nice and sit down without trying anything.”  
Cas hesitated, but didn’t turn around, and then continued walking. The doors closed behind him, locks turned and shelves sliding back in place, but Cas barley stopped to see if everything went right. He marched on out, getting a bit more space back in his pants with every step, and loosing it again with every thought; that tongue sliding into his mouth, hands reaching into his coat and firmly holding his hips.   
He didn’t have a room for himself, but there were a lot of vacant ones. He didn’t dare get too close to Dean and Sam, in case they were awake or sleeping lightly, as he had no interest in explaining himself or even trying to have a conversation right now. Thinking of Dean, he realised this would be impossible to control, as his vessel was already making ready for intercourse and his mind not letting the thoughts go away, and seeing Dean on top of this would be disastrous for their… ’friendship’, as it were.   
Behind a closed but not locked door he found a bed, unmade, and laid down. Thoughts were stuck in his head and he didn’t want them there, but they didn’t go away. He remembered the kiss, the hands, the sensation travelling down his loaned body. He felt his hands reach down, touching his crotch, stroking the fabric of his pants and the bulge underneath.   
This couldn’t be happening, he thought, before he closed his eyes and undid his pants, pulling them down just enough to reach inside, to touch the erection and letting it out. Eyes closed, letting his body guide him, he felt his fingers grab a careful hold of it, and began stroking it. The sensation was… quite intense.   
While he did, he thought a lot. No coherent thoughts, just glimpses and ideas, memories of seeing Dean without his shirt, of lips against his, hands around his body, the warm and moist insides of the girl/reaper he’d once completed intercourse with. Memories and fantasies and mixing the two with dreams and ideas, seeing naked bodies he’d never seen in real life, seeing and feeling and tasting another body with his own, tongue and skin meeting and genitals touching, pressing, hard and warm, carefully sliding deeper into…   
His mind went blank, his body rigid, his breathing became gasps and a low moan, pressed out between grinding teeth. His hand still holding his dick firmly, feeling warm liquid seep out and drip down onto his clothes, his eyes open and staring into the ceiling without really seeing it. The sensation was alike to what he’d experienced before, at least one night, but so very different. Much more… intense.   
Feeling his body relax, he closed his eyes, and felt memories of stubble brushing against his cheeks, the taste of stale liquor on a foreign tongue in his mouth, the teasing voice calling him strange nick…  
At once he sat up, eyes wide open. Crowley?! This couldn’t be right, the demon had to have done something, anything, changed his mind or planted something in him with the kiss, or maybe a spell, something, because why else would he keep thinking of… of strong hands clenching his waist, soft lips tasting his own, rough stubble scratching his face and neck…   
And, above all; had he really left the dungeon with Crowley still walking free?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEE LOTSA KISSUS AND STUFF >:D


	4. To get a Demon back in his chair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel can't think about consequences, not now; he's messed up and what if Crowley'd gone free? What if something had happened, like before, a little leak had sprung an entire plan of track, and now? The King of Hell free to roam the basement of their most precious hideout?  
> And a much more pressing question: was there any way Castiel was actually enjoying this game?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting a bit more Crowley in this, well, at least the one I'm visualising: not just an total ass, but also as sexual as any demon worth their souls. What better balm then complete release, because who has ever felt bad during a really intense orgasm? ;)  
> Leave kudos and comments, and watch out for my (eventual, maybe, sometime, eh, well) Patreon-page: NeverBeenACorpse  
> Love to you all (and lotsa smut, because it's hopefully as fun to read as it is to write) <3

”Hey, angel-boy, you’re back!”

”Get back in your chair, Crowley, now.” Cas wasn’t in the mood, or at least he tried to tell himself that, but he had trouble keeping his eyes locked to Crowleys. 

”But we’ve just started! You’ve barely asked any questions yet! Don’t you want to know the big, fat secret behind handling humanity?”

Cas stopped, almost meeting Crowley’s eyes but not quite. ”What secret?”

Crowley walked over to the table and leaned back against it, striking a seemingly relaxed pose, looking intensely at Cas. ”Wouldn’t you want to know?” 

Flabbergasted, Cas stood and just stared at Crowley for a moment, until Crowley leaned back and laughed. 

”You can’t seriously believe I’d let you off so easy? You ran away from me, leaving me here, all alone, with nothing else but a subpar kiss to remember you by. And I’ll tell you all I know about humanity and, Lucifer help me, feelings? No, pretty boy, that’s not how it’s gonna work. Not quite.”

Crowley leaned back against the table, having stood straight during his small speech, and let Cas catch his thoughts before spilling anything more. 

”What… what do you want, Crowley? We have a deal, and…”

”What I want? You’re the one making demands and signing deals, and all for what, a handsome boy who doesn’t even want you back? I’d say too bad that you don’t really got a soul, since you’d sell that off too for a chance to get closer to that man up there, am I right? I wouldn’t say no to a deal like that, but it’s not gonna happen, so why linger on it?”

Cas felt empty, drained at Crowley’s words. ”Is it that obvious?” What was the point of denying, any longer, when Crowley already seemed to know more about him then even himself?

To his surprise, Crowley stood up again, and walked closer to Cas, not even a smirk on his lips. ”No, it’s actually not obvious. I can tell that Dean himself has no god damn clue, bless that ignorant soul, and Sam doesn’t have time to think about anything else it seems. Not that any of them ever were any good at… well, feelings, as they are.” Crowley stood a few paces away from Cas, and reached out a hand to touch his cheek, ever so gently. ”Humans are quite complex, even for their own good. No matter how long you live as human, you’d probably never understand their full spectrum of feelings. Which only makes me wonder what the fuck God was doing when he created them.”

”Don’t talk ill about my father.” 

”I’m not, I just don’t understand, but who does? Seems even you angels have a hard time grasping the complexity that is the almighty.”

Cas almost sighed, looking down to the floor. He was so tired, off all this; longing for a father who wasn’t answering, a friend who didn’t feel the same, connectivity on even basic levels. He felt alone. 

And he felt a soft and gentle touch over his lips. He closed his eyes, feeling Crowley trace a thumb over his lips, the calloused skin of a worker rasping against the dry skin of his lips, but still some warmth seeped through. He let it be. 

At least it felt better then standing alone in the cold dark. 

A moment passed, and nothing happened. No heartbeat, no breathing either slow or pressed, no sound of movement or cloth against cloth, barely even the low almost inaudible humming of the electrical machines. 

Cas still has his eyes closed, head bent down, shoulders low, when Crowley traced a hand behind his neck and guided his head somewhat up, until his lips met Crowley’s. Cas dry lips rasped roughly against Crowleys, softly at first and with nothing else then a soft and firm hand on his neck and their lips gently touching, and the moment dragged out. Cas felt it, but couldn’t get words in his head, and couldn’t get his limbs to move because he didn’t know what to do, what to feel, and he had no voice in his mind telling him anything; it ll felt empty. Except the parts were he touched Crowley. 

After the first, tense moment passed, filled with caution and mixed feelings, the kiss deepened; Crowley slowly parted his own lips, waiting for Cas to respond, before letting the tip of his tongue slide over Cas’s upper lip, softly, gently. Cas felt his own tongue meet Crowley’s, tips mingling and tasting each others, carefully and without any hurry, with the ability to pull back at any moment, without any resistance. Cas pushed his tongue deeper, against Crowley’s lips, into his mouth, feeling the same from him, pushing himself closer, lips meeting fully, tongues meeting and circling, gently, carefully, every moment a step on unstable ground, further into the unknown, but still it happened. 

His thoughts started to come back, in ragged pieces, a word here and there trying to make sense of the situation, but with every movement they quieted down, only to start up soon again, but then Crowley put a hand on Cas’s hip and everything else disappeared. Suddenly Cas had taken a step closer, pressed his body against Crowley’s; he even held his hands uncertainly on Crowley’s body, just above his hips, barely touching and with a lot of stupid thoughts and feeling. Crowley didn’t seem to have the same trouble. 

Crowley broke the kiss but held his face just as close, as he slowly turned Cas around, until Cas felt the solid table against his thighs, with Crowley gently pressing him back against it. 

Cas look up and met Crowley’s eyes. 

”There’s a lot of way to forget feelings, but being constrained by do-gooders and the threat of Angelic forces, as well as your own meat-suit, I’m quite out of advice to give beside from sex. It’s still one of the best ways to forget, either way.”

Cas kept quiet. He looked at Crowley and found nothing else then what he said, but demons can’t be trusted, but he felt his humanity dragging him into a direction he wasn’t sure was wise, as well as his body being quite ready to elope, so he was sure he couldn’t trust himself either. The pants felt way too small, way too hot, Crowley’s eyes was way too honest, and Cas felt that he had no real reason not to continue. Crowley had his hands just laying on Cas’s hips, and Cas let him press him down on the table, while still being too close, forcing his legs to separate as he sat down, his hands firmly on the table, eyes still looking at Crowley. Their lips met again. 

Every movement was slow and deliberate, waiting for the smallest signal to stop or step back, but neither came, and Crowleys hands traveled different ways over Cas’s body, up his sides, his arms, down his back, gaining confidence, squeezing his waist, letting his fingers sprout down over his buttocks, slowly, trying his limits, finding no complaints, only a deepening kiss. After only some hesitation he pushed his hands down, grabbing each buttock in his hands, a little too hard, pressing them apart. Cas felt a bubble of air press up his throat, making a strange and involuntary sound as it reached higher, almost like… He’s heard it before. Never from himself. From Dean. 

Always with someone else. 

Always when he were enjoying it. 

Was Cas enjoying this? 

Crowley was getting more confident, making his movements with less hesitation, letting small bruises form where his fingers pressed into Cas’s skin, pushing his whole body back over the table by taking small steps closer, making their crotches press against each other, thin fabric holding both their erections enclosed in far too small spaces, pressed against each other’s, rubbing softly with each small movement. It felt… far more then Cas would have thought. Far more then he’d realised it could feel. 

It was like he started to understand the humans obsessions with it, but he didn’t get to think the thought fully through, as Crowley pressed his tongue into his mouth. His hands let go of Cas’s ass to slide down his legs, grabbing hold under his knees, and quite forcefully spreading his legs before him, pulling them up and apart. Cas’s body was willingly forced down on the table, with Crowley following it down and not once breaking the kiss, and soon they lay on top of each other over the table. The kiss ended, only to let Crowley trace his lips down Cas’s jawline, over his cheek and chin, nibbling gently on his earlobe, and Cas felt his hands reach up and hold Crowley’s waist, all while another bubble of air escaped up his throat.

”Tell me to stop, and I will” Crowley whispered against Cas’s neck. ”No questions asked.”

Cas was quiet for so long that Crowley actually pulled back a bit, before he spoke again. 

”Okey.”

A moment of silence. 

Then Cas imagined he _heard_ Crowley smile, as he kissed down his neck with a newfound hunger, and his hands searching their way in under his clothes, and Cas closed his eyes and let a little, tiny bubble make it’s way up his throat, once again creating that sound he liked to hear so much when Dean did it. And now it was his to make. 

He did it again, and again, as he put his hands up on Crowleys shoulders, his legs pressing against Crowleys thighs, Crowleys lips pressed so hard against his neck that they hurt. 

He actually was enjoying this.


	5. Temptations and falling for them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley has a way with words that make Castiel interested. Or maybe it's just the situation? Or something completely different?  
> No matter, really, as it won't change the fact that Castiel's laying on a table, about to be fucked by a demon.   
> And he's actually enjoying it?! If only Dean could see him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O hai there beautiful individuals <3   
> This isn't my most prioritised work. Sorry about that. I'll do my best to write more, and finish it, and give you all at least some chapters with a depressive angel and a lewd demon playing games.   
> Comment and like if you want, and love you all <3

Crowleys hands was warm against his skin, a surprising feeling, the dungeon was too cold and he shouldn’t be this warm, this _hot_ , but he was, and the feeling of him against Cas’s skin was like burning, in a very different sense then the word would imply, but what other words were there?

”You’re hot.”

”Well thank you, not that I didn’t know it, but I’ll take a complement when it’s ernest.”

”No, you’re… _hot_. Like, burning.”

Crowley was still pressed against Cas’s neck, and Cas felt a smile against his skin. ”They do say Hell is a fiery place, do they not?”

Cas swallowed. 

”Or did you forget I wasn’t human?”

Crowley’s voice was soft, a cat purring, vibrations through the air that teased at Cas’s eardrums, stroked the skin of his vessel and sent shivers all over him. 

Cas couldn’t answer. 

”Should I remind you again, or do you want to do this in ignorant bliss? Maybe with closed eyes and while whispering ’Dean’ with every thrust? I don’t mind, really, not every day you get to fuck an ’Angel of the Lord’, as it were, but if so we need to be honest from the start as to what this will be…”

”No, no… I just, eh, I’m not used to it…”

”Don’t tell me Heaven is cold?”

”Eh… more like, temperate? There isn’t much to feel, in way of… cold and, eh…”

Crowleys hand stroked in-between Cas’s legs, up over his crotch, massaging gently at the hardness pressed against his clothes. ”… heat?” 

Cas swallowed. Did humans really produce this much saliva, and for what purpose? 

”Not that I’ve ever been up there, but… sound like a dull place.”

Cas didn’t answer, but in a way, he silently agreed. It was a dull place, compared to all things happening on Earth, all the evolution and intrigues and weather and change and… 

Well, that feeling of a hand unbuttoning his pants and sneaking inside. That would never be felt while in Heaven, while being a loyal soldier, while in the service of the Lord. Neither would he ever feel a strong hand hold his penis, carefully fold it out of the fabric holding it trapped, positioning it between his stomach and empty air, before beginning to stroke it. Up, and down. Up, and down…

Cas closed his eyes. Sounds came through his throat, was they called moans? Head leaning back, Crowley’s hands pushing his body down, and his own arms spread wide over the table-top. He was laying on his back, crotch completely exposed, when he felt lips circle the taunt skin of his genitals. 

He moaned. That was the word, right? That sound Dean made. Always with someone else. 

Cas _moaned_. 

”I enjoy your enthusiasm… but please try not to damage your vessel before I’ve even gotten started. Get a hold of yourself, feathers, or this will be over before the fun even started.”

”Shut up you fiend.”

”Now that’s more like it.” Lips down over Cas’s cock, tongue circling, the emotions through his vessel and up through his own mind, into his own celestial form, sounds escaping and his vessel moving as if possessed by something other then him. Hands holding ont hair, pushing down, gritting teeth and sound that weren’t even sounds, just breaths stuck somewhere between his lungs and his open mouth. 

Hands stroking his thighs. 

Grabbing his ass. 

Pulling at his clothes. 

All while the wet warmth circled his genitals, moving and prodding and touching and stroking. 

”Fuck…” came out of Cas’s mouth with the escaping air. 

Tongue stroking the length of his genital, circling the tip, pushing down a little bit, Cas’s vessel jerking at the touch, tip of the tongue pushing down over the opening, prodding the small hole that ran through his genital. 

”What…”

Another prodding, with a bit more force, and Cas was quiet. Well, the ’not speaking coherently’ kind of quiet. 

Such a small amount of flesh touched the inside of his penis and it still felt so much, and the hair between his fingers wasn’t enough so he grabbed at shoulders that was too far away, shifted onto the table and held it hard, feeling the throbbing through the hardened flesh, down into the softer meat under, spreading out over his thighs, his back and neck arching back, a moan that didn’t form, that feeling… 

And then, it was gone. 

”What!? Why…?”

”Now now feathers, don’t get mad at me for not letting you cum. You should keep more control, because I’m not of the mind to give without receiving, as you should know very well by now.”

Cas got up onto his elbows, a bit disoriented. ”What… does that mean?”

Crowley gave him his usual, disapproving look. ”Please tell me you’re joking.”

Cas gave him a look that probably was as unfocused as it felt. 

Crowley just eyed him for a moment and sighed. ”’Cum’ is when your vessel comes to it’s sexual climax, the _release?_ ’Coming’? Does it ring any kind of bell?” 

”Eh…”

”Or maybe you need something closer to home - you know the sounds Dean usually does before he stopps the intercourse? That kind of thing. The _climax_ , the _highlight_ of sexual encounters, the…”

”Stop it!”

Cas couldn’t meet Crowley’s eyes, not only because of the humiliating tone and down-glancing look, and not only because of the mention of Dean. 

But because he’d actually enjoyed himself, and because of a _demon_. 

And he wasn’t even ashamed. 

Crowley bent forward, and touched Cas’s shoulder, stroking down over his arm, ending with taking his hand and pulling him up into a sitting position. 

”Don’t overthink this my little angel. It wasn’t sex that brought mankind from God’s grace, or that made Lucifer fall. It’s just physical interaction between fleshed out bodies possessed by celestial energy… and, well, you know.”

Cas gave Crowley a very disbelieving look. 

”Oh come on, don’t blame me for letting you enjoy yourself! If you’re gonna be like this I might just tie you up and skip this whole mutual exchange thing we’ve started.”

”Then why don’t you?”

Quiet. 

”What I’m saying is that… you need to enjoy, or at least _give_ something, or…  Oh fuck you feathers!”

”I thought that was your job?”

Cas met Crowleys eyes with a steady gaze, and saw Crowleys eyes change from frustrated, dishonoured, to confused and intrigued, to a smiling devil that grabbed at his thighs with force and pushed his face so close against Cas’s that their noses touched. 

”Oh you little teasing ass, aren’t you a weasel hidden inside such a pretty body?”

A small smile. What was the point of thinking, of feeling, really? Not that Cas hadn’t already fallen from grace. Several times, probably. Might just forget and move on, right? Isn’t that what humans did?

 

The kiss that followed was… hungry. Deep. Tongues and lips and hands touching and circling and pushing, and Cas felt his clothes unbuttoned and torn at, all while he did the same to Crowleys’. 

His feet touched the floor, pulled up by Crowley and his own greed, he just wanted more, and he felt it; hard, warm flesh pushing against his thighs, fingers stroking and pushing as his body, is cheeks, his hole… 

”Are you ready to turn around, you little tease?”

”Fuck you demon.”

”Yes please.”

And Cas turned around. Undressed, hastily and not completely; pants and underwear around his ankles and his shirt still over his back, the coat had refused to pull over one of his hands and was still hanging over the side of the table, and he didn’t even care. 

Less so when he felt that taunt skin press against his ass. 

He lost his words, grabbing hard onto nothing, mouth agape down over the table, as Crowley gently guided and pushed and spread, all to his own liking and need. 

Which, Cas barely dared to think, was exactly what he himself wanted. It just felt… good. More then good. 

He really was enjoying this. 

”Now feathers… just stay still, don’t do any sudden…”

Crowley gently pressed, and Cas pushed back hard, a soundless gasp as he felt the cock slid inside him, and the unexpected moan from Crowley as he did so. 

”Fuck, feathers, don’t…”

Word were unnecessary, as their bodies wanted other things, their vessels already knowing what to do. Cas pushed back, feeling Crowley slide inside him, hearing the sound of their bodies meeting, Crowley’s forced breaths, his own low moans, and he closed his eyes to just… feel. 

Forget, maybe. 

But mostly just feel. 

And yes. It felt _good_. 

 

For a moment that was it, and they both let their bodies just… move, meet, and feel, but as Cas reached down to hold his own dick, Crowley seemed to wake from his momentarily trance and bent forward, pulling at Cas’s hair, forcefully kissing his neck as he pushed hard inside him. 

”Tell me little angel how much you like this.”

Cas swallowed, with a bit resistance. ”No.”

Crowley pulled his hair a bit harder. ”Say it.”

”No.”

”SAY IT!”

”FUCK YOU!”

”Well I’ll take what I can get…” Crowley whispered over his ear, and pulled Cas hips back while pushing hard, making Cas gasp with pleasure and just a little bit of pain. 

”If you’re not gonna…” Another push, hard, deep. Cas closed his mouth to stop the sounds. ”… be honest with me, then why…” A deeper push. Cas lost the battle with his vessel and moaned loudly, mouth hanging open. ”… should I show you the same respect?” Another push. Faster. Again, and again, just increasing in speed, and Cas clenched his teeth to not give in to the sounds that wanted out of him, to not show this _demon_ what he wanted to see, to hear, that wasn’t what he had bargained for. 

But oh, it felt _so good_ , how could he resist?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes more and more of a... BDSM-style relationship. Not really what I had planned, but... do you like it? I've got a few plans to where I'll take this, but the rest is totally up for debate.   
> What would you like to see?


	6. Pls don't fight is bad many bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has made a deal with a demon. A deal that garnered much more then he'd first thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO PPL  
> THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING AND COMMENTING <3  
> I'm sorry  
> ...  
> Reasons for not posting: Lost track of the feeling I wanted to portray. Lost motivation. And, then, as icing on the cake, a deep depresssion and severe money-trouble. Among others.  
> Now? I feel better <3 Usually, after a writers block, I don't go back to finish anything... but I hate unfinished things. And, someone asked me to please finish this, in the comments on earlier chapters.  
> So, this is for you <3  
> All my love to you

Crowley didn’t stop, not as such, he just changed the pace and moved his feet, holding onto Cas’s knees, getting into a steady rhythm both in breath and thrusts. 

Cas was still clenching his whole face shut, in an attempt to not enjoy himself. Well, to not show this demon that he enjoyed himself, at least. 

But with every thrust, he was loosing the battle, and his teeth began grinding, in lack of anything else. 

Thankfully, Crowley didn’t comment on this, just changed his posture a little bit, and… 

 

”Oh fuck!”

Cas’s eyes went wide open, as well as his mouth, his back arched. Something inside of him was being caressed, and he didn’t understand it, but it felt way, _way too good._

He didn’t even respond as Crowley snickered above him, keeping the same posture and rhythm, his own breath getting more forced, as Cas now lay on the table, back arched, eyes rolled up inside his head, and breathless puffs of sound escaped from deep inside his throat. 

As Crowley pushed Cas’s knees lower, spread his legs even wider, and in response Cas arched his back even more, the feeling getting only more intense with each stroke. He felt his body slide with each thrust, pushing down on that cock inside of him, claiming it and demanding more from it, his whole body aching now. 

It really did feel good. Really, really good. 

 

Though it was a very unknown feeling, to him. He didn’t really know how to handle it, and what to do with himself. His body seemed to do most of that for him though; tensing his muscles, his back barely touching the table at all, and his mouth completely open. 

And the sounds. He just couldn’t seem to stop them, forcing their way up hit throat, his vocal cords vibrating as it passed by them, creating a low but intense sound that came in unpredictable succession after each thrust inside him. 

 

He closed his eyes and relaxed his head back on the table, just feeling the way his body reacted, the chemicals mixing inside him, muscles and tendons moving and contracting under the continued push of that foreign body part inside of him. 

And despite it all, he felt his mouth relax. Still open, still moaning, as it would be called, but not the tense and reluctant push of air anymore. The corners of his mouth turned upward, his own movements began matching the thrusts, and the need to play reluctant slowly poured away from him. 

This was nice. 

This was good. 

Fuck, this was good. 

 

He felt filled; differently so then before, so much differently from his previous experience, and really, he _did_ enjoy it. 

It almost made him stop thinking about Dean altogether. 

 

~*~

 

”We have the former King of Hell in our basement, and we still got nothing on this Abbaddon? How could that be? We must be missing something, anything…”

”Don’t you think I’ve been over everything already? Why don’t you help instead of walking around like a maniac?”

Sam wasn’t in a good mood. Cas noticed. He’d become real good at noticing the moods in humans, after being one. They weren’t at all as confusing as he’d first thought, and now that he knew all the feelings behind them, he understood that their thought-process wasn’t so simple as he’d imagined. 

Dean was sitting by the tables, though he was halfway on his way up. Typically aggressive, which could prove problematic. Not only because Castiel unconsciously simulated how his human form had responded to this sight. Dean wasn’t one for showing emotion, and anger was one of the few that made it through, and it made his face sharper. His muscles more toned. His voice rose, and it struck something inside Cas that he just couldn’t quite understand. 

Suddenly, he was thinking of the dungeon. 

Of what was down there. 

Who, more like it. 

 

He’d called Deans name, in the end. Crowley didn’t seem to mind. 

They’d cleaned up in silence, mostly, Cas trying to hid himself in a way that he hadn’t known in himself earlier, and Crowley had given him a wide space to get himself together. He’d been quite weak in the knees, actually. 

Crowley hadn’t seemed to be anything different. Maybe he’d taken the time when Cas was… not fully in his best and most aware senses, to get his facade up. Maybe. 

When Cas had turned to meet him, still a bit unshelled, Crowley had been adjusting his tie. 

A single eye had met Cas’s. Knowing. Understanding, maybe? Cas didn’t think he’d seen any ridicule, or that common smirk on his face. 

Maybe that had been Cas’s post-climax imagining things, though. He wasn’t sure. 

 

A moment had passed. Cas had opened his mouth, tried to stretch his back, impose his presence. 

Crowley had conjured something akin to a smile, and taken to words before Cas was able. 

”Don’t worry feathers, I’ll get back in my comfy little chair. Not gonna cheat you of your, hm, let’s say rejuvenating feelings?”

A wink. Almost so that Cas didn’t notice it, quick enough that he didn’t have a chance to respond, sluggish as he felt. 

Crowley sat down in the chair while talking, making a show of straightening out his clothes. 

”So, what’s it gonna be, then? You’re gonna go back on your end of the deal by locking me back up, feathers? Didn’t think you’d be the type!”

”Be quiet, will you?”

”Oh, you’re gracious now? Guess all you needed was a d…”

Cas lounged, almost shattering the armrests of the chair Crowley was sitting so comfortable down in, almost like it wasn’t made of hard wood and metal, all straight lines and sharp corners. He bent down over the demon, one hand on either armrest, faces close enough to touch, should any of them move. 

Neither did. 

Crowley was looking up, almost expectantly, and Cas wondered what he thought of. He didn’t seem afraid. 

Actually, his eyes were clear. Devoid of any emotion, except the fascination of what Cas was going to do. 

 

And really, Cas didn’t actually know. 

But he didn’t want it to show. No matter that he’d made a deal with a demon, even a disgraced and soon maybe de-throned one, but a demon none the less; he’d not gonna let his uncertainty show. Not more then he had. 

Longing for a human, of all things, was low enough to be hurtful. And Crowley didn’t need to know anything else about him. 

”Be still.” was all he said, in the end, their staring contest drawing to a close. Crowley won, if you could call it that, because Cas needed to look at the clasps when he put them back on. 

Ignoring the knowledge that Crowley was watching his every move. Tracing his jaw with his eyes. Noticing the un-folded collar, the ghastly buttoned shirt, the un-combed hair. 

Cas ignored it. 

Locked him back up. 

And left. 

”See you soon, angel-boy! Nice making business with you!”

Cas didn’t answer. 

 

And now, he was standing at the end of the table, watching Sam angst himself into another argument with Dean. Not what either of them needed. 

”Sam. We know a few things.”

”Like what!?!”

”Crowley was not working with Abbadon. He had no reason to.”

”Like hell he wasn’t, didn’t you see…?”

”Dean, calm down. This means she doesn’t know most of the secrets Crowley has.”

Sam scoffed. ”Yeah, like we’d ever get them out of him…”

Cas stared pointedly at Sam, demanding he’d not interrupt. Sam seemed to get the point, and even stopped pacing. 

”It means, that she doesn’t know everything. She’s gonna make misstakes. And we could learn from that.”

”But she’ll kill people before doing those misstakes! We can’t let that happen!” Sam was on the verge of pacing again. Not good. And Dean was looking at Cas, hoping he had the ideas they needed. That pure belief, that Cas was going to help them, save them. 

He lost track. 

”Eh…”

Dean took up the torch of conversation almost immediately. ”What I think Cas is saying is that she’s by no means omnipotent. We can beat her, and we will, we just have to focus!”

Sam seemed to respond, to explode, but didn’t. 

After a moment of uncertainty, he even sat down. 

Cas relaxed, somewhat, not completely of his guard yet. Another big fight would not help them, not in the least. 

 

Then Dean turned towards Cas and his thoughts got stopped in their tracks, and his vessel did a variant of loosing breath. Only that he didn’t need to breath, but the memory of the human feeling, loosing his breath, was overwhelming. 

”So, Cas. Any ideas? Maybe we should talk to Crowley some more?”

That did nothing to get his imaginative breath back. 

”Eh… I don’t think so…”

”Maybe if we press him more, he’s bound to know something?”

The thought of being down there, with the brothers, and Crowley’s knowing smirk. He didn’t think the demon would tell, but there was so much more he could do to ge Cas of his footing. 

”No, I don’t think Crowley’ll help us now… not after last time.”

”True.” Dean said, scoffing and taking another sip of bear. Cas had become intoxicated with barely one of those drinks, and didn’t understand how Dean managed to always keep one close. 

He adverted his eyes before Dean finished his sip, scared he’d get stuck staring at those lips again. Not that Dean had understood last time. But it didn’t feel right. 

”So… what’s the plan?” 

Sam spread his hands, indicating that either of the two of them continue, and Dean shot a glance at Cas. Knowing, like they had a joke together, like Cas was an intricate part of their little circle, like Cas was… 

No. 

Don’t think of that. 

Cas sat down, not moving a muscle in his face as his ass touched the chair, the tenderness evident through his body. 

And then they began to plan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooh is Crowley a sleek little thing, or is he actually empathic towards Castiel? I guess we'll find out! :D


	7. Keep focus, Cas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too tired to write a summary, sorry  
> This is mostly just plot and banter, but it's almost more fun with these two. What do you think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love u guys <3 Thanks for kind words and commenting

They went back down in the basement. 

Of course. 

And really, what could Cas say, when the brothers both wanted more information, wanted more from Crowley, to learn his secrets and trades and maybe but a little fear into the caged King of Hell. 

Cas walked behind them, keeping his face clean of emotion as always, his eyes a bit lower. 

”Come on Cas, you’re slowing us down.” 

Dean looked back at him, Cas meeting his eyes suddenly and unprepared, almost loosing his footing with the power of it. Clear, beautiful eyes staring down at him, wanting him to be a part of their group, acting like he already was. Like they were close as brothers, the three of them. 

Brothers. 

It stung, and brought Cas back, to his body and the reality of it all, and suddenly the vault was open. 

_Fuck._  

 

Crowley was sitting, as usual, like the cage was his throne and they were willing servants about to kneel at his side. 

Cas didn’t look at his face. 

He took a spot a bit to the side, the brothers putting up a front and showing muscle. Like it would scare Crowley. Cas felt the need to chuckle, as he saw Dean buff himself up, his muscles pressing against the fabric of his shirt, and the thought that Crowley, being a demon, would find it hilarious. Being threatened with muscle, human muscle, just flesh and bones and nothing more. 

But he got stuck, seeing that body press against its clothes, like it where their own little cage, a cage of fabric to keep the excess of muscle and power contained… 

Crowley cleared his throat, and Cas shifted his eyes to him. For a minuscule moment Cas was sure their eyes met, and Crowley seemed to want to say something with his eyes, but the moment was over before Cas even knew it had happened. 

”So. Boys. Feathers. What ever could grant me the pleasure of your company?”

”We want answers.” Dean said, buffing up even more. Cas bit his lip behind his back, to keep back a smile at the futile threat Dean was giving, and once again Crowleys eyes found his. A small moment, like they shared the same joke, like they both knew the futility in Dean’s actions and could see the petty humanity behind it, and together find it most endearing. 

Cas almost smiled, before he came back to his senses. Well, not much, but Sam began to talk an it ended the moment. 

”We want to know what Abbaddon is planning, what she could want to gain.”

”Again, I don’t know! She’s not my…”

”Shut up demon! That’s not what we’re asking. We know she’s not working _with_ you, we understand that, but we want to know how she’s working _against_ you.”

”Like I would tell you the intricate details of ruling Hell! You’d get bored with the lack of pictures and kill me before I’d even came to the point.”

Shifting his eyes between the bothers, Crowley didn’t seem to notice that Cas shifted his footing. Nothing much, just that the tone he was using was pretty much exactly the same as last night, just before… well, a few times, actually, and the exact moment wasn’t important, just that it made Cas’s body remember. 

And his body really enjoyed remembering that moment. _Those_ moments, as in plural moments, as in… the whole night, actually. Not that they’d taken that long, really, but Cas hadn’t done much else after leaving Crowley alone again. He’d basically just walked around, thinking about it. Feeling how his body ached, the tenderness around his sphincter, the budding bruises over his buttocks. the feeling inside his body where Crowley had reached. 

It had been an interesting night. 

 

”Cas? Cas!”

The familiar voice was like a jolt through his borrowed body. Had he really drifted that far off?

”Yes, what do you know, demon?” Trying to keep an appearance of control, while all three of them stared him down. At least the two brothers - Crowley had another type of look on him. A different kind of look, rally. Cas couldn’t undersand if that was a smile in the corner of his mouth or…

”We need your attention, damn it, this is important!”

”You have it.”

A distrustful look from Sam. He should know, if any, even if Dean didn’t. And Crowleys look, that might-be-a-smile. eyes that looked at him like…

Oh. 

Cas felt an immense gratitude towards his body, as he knew he’d be blushing if he’d been human still. Now, he had a bit more control. He could at least keep the blood-rush at a minimum, even if his skittering eyes might betray him, if anyone else then Crowley was really looking. 

”Cas. Come on man, you know this.”

Sam had averted his eyes, keeping track on Crowley, and the demon met his eyes, no longer looking at Cas. So that only left Dean. The major problem maker in Cas’s post-human life. 

”Crowley mentioned this city, I don’t know what it’s called, it sounded angelic or some shit…”

”Enochian.”

”Whatever. Have you heard of it?”

”I am doubtful, as you still haven’t told me the name.”

”God damn it, Cas.”

”That’s a discussion not fit in front of a demon.”

Crowley looked over at that, seeing Dean standing a bit too close for it to be comfortable for Cas. 

”Hey, features! I didn’t know you had it in you! Making jokes and all.”

”Quiet, demon.”

Crowley chuckled sensibly, Sam still not letting his eyes of him. Cas felt the need to blush another time, and wasn’t all that sure why. 

”Cas. What’s up with you?” Dean leaned in closer, Cas could feel the hot breath smelling of beer over his neck and cheek, giving his skin a interesting new texture. At least the rest of his body wasn’t reacting in the same manner. 

”We’re trying to save lives here, and we’re actually getting somewhere, and you’re not even listening?”

Cas tried to keep his eyes focused on Dean. ”I am focused on the subject, even if I’m not actively listening to the conversation.”

”But we need you, Cas. Don’t you see that? We need your help!”

”That’s why I’m here, to help you.”

Dean sighed. Cas felt his eyes shift away and for a moment he met Crowleys. A knowing glance between them, then he met Deans pointed look again. 

”I understand your concern, Dean, and I promise you I’ve not lost sight of the mission.” 

A moment of silence, their eyes locked, Dean visibly keeping a sigh at bay, and then turning back to Crowley. 

It felt like… pain, physical, bodily pain though his body. Pain he couldn’t control, like the pangs of hunger when he’d still been human and forgotten to eat for days at a time, or when he’d cut open his skin down to the flesh in an accident. But that pain had been closely related to the physical body, a pain he then couldn’t control. Now, his body was a tool more then a part of him. But that particular pain felt the same. 

Deans’ turned back felt like bodily pain through his mind. 

Cas let his head fall slighty. Crowley saw it. Cas didn’t care much. 

 

The tip led to a location far away, and Sam and Dean went without much hesitation. Cas was left to guard a particular demon in the basement - ’a job I’d trust to no one else’ Dean had said, while looking him in the eyes, a proud smile on his lips. 

Cas had responded in kind, not knowing what to say. Just a smile, a clap on his shoulders, and they’d been gone. Gathering resources and polishing the Impala before hopping in, determined to get help on the way, if any. It was more of a scouting mission, anyway. It would probably not take too long. 

Cas, left with the King of Hell, had mumbled a promise, something about making sure he got more information out of the demon, still feeling the touch of Dean’s hand on his shoulder, as if it had ever been anything else then a friendly gesture. 

Still not at all sure if he’d keep that badly worded promise. 

 

~*~

 

”Are you going to talk to me?” Crowley said, breaking the silence. 

Cas didn’t even look at him. 

”You know, this quiet treatment would work better if I knew what you were after. I mean, last time we were alone…”

”Stop it, demon.”

Crowley leaned back in his chair. ”So we’re back to that point, aren’t we?”

Cas shot him a glance, but Crowley just sat there, a hand holding his cheek, tired eyes looking at the Angel of the Lord before him. 

Cas didn’t feel like such a creature at all right now. 

”Dean didn’t even give you a hug, did he? Barely a clap on the back, a bloody handshake and then off to kill some more demons?” 

Cas turned his head away. 

”You can’t still take it personally, he’s jus a dimwitted macho-man who wouldn’t know a guy flirting with him if they actually shoved a dick…”

”You better shut your mouth, demon.” 

Through the corner of his eyes, Cas saw Crowley raise his hands in a mock surrender. 

”Feathers, listen to me. He’s an ass, a dimwitted one surrounded by such a body I’d probably become atheist if I was still human…”

Cas actually smiled at that, unwillingly. 

”… but he’s just not worth it, if you ask my opinion. That body could be found on many a human, and that mind truly leaves too much to be desired.”

Crowley sighed. ”The humans really haven’t changed at all since I was one.”

 

Cas turned suddenly, looking right at Crowley. Trying to regain some kind of power-dynamic, as well as because of the memories flooding his still way too human brain. 

”So how come you lost your soul, to begin with? I heard the stories, Dean and Sam loves it, but truly it could not be…”

”You think far too high of me if you don’t believe the brothers.” Crowley said, hiding most of his mouth in his hand again, leaning on the edge of the chair. 

A moment of silence passed, Cas trying to show his control of the situation, to show himself being the powerful one, but Crowley didn’t even change a muscle. 

”Alright alright you wing-clipped parrot, if you thought any louder I’d be sure I’ve turned telepathic.”

”Crowley, there’s no need…”

”I _know_ I don’t need to tell you, but it seems you’ll almost gotten a bit of high hopes for me, so I’d rather bring them right down from the start. Yes, I sold my soul for a big dick.”

 

Silence. 

 

”Ehm… well, what, erh…”

”Oh just shut up you birdbrain before I break these chains just to escape the awkwardness.”

Cas met his eyes and smiled a small, shy smile. ”That would indeed be impressing.”

”Not as impressive as my dick, obviously.” Crowley said, with a completely straight face. 

”It’s not all that impressive…”

”And you should know? Did many a peeking while God was still up and about, did ya? Followed Dean into the bathroom, maybe, just to get a glimpse…?”

”Get your mind out of the gutter, demon. I didn’t even have a sexual drive before my time as human. I barely understood the need to implant that in them, when all they do is restrict it with rules and shame. God spent so much time fine-tuning their nerve-endings and the shape of their genitals, among so much else, that I really didn’t understand why their holy ones always seemed to preach about celibacy. It’s not like their sexuality was created by accident.”

Cas trailed off, and realised he’d been ranting. He looked up and saw Crowley, looking at him with a special and unknown kind of glint in his eyes. 

”At least, that’s what I think…” Cas added, more and more uncomfortable by the second. 

Crowley just sat quiet, for a moment. Looking Cas over, head just a bit leaned to the side, casually resting on one of his hands. 

Cas felt his eyes starting to flicker around the room from nervousness. 

 

”You know, feathers, sometimes you actually surprise me.”

That shut Cas up in a totally different way. Now he wasn’t awkwardly staring at the demon, but openmouthed looked at him in confusion. 

Crowley smiled a bit bigger. ”Oh the naiveté of youth.”

That brought Cas back somewhat. ”I’m no youth, and neither younger then you.”

”Oh but your mind is. You’ve only been human for such a short while and now you’re all confused - I actually lived it, mind you, perks and traumas included.”

”I watched you lot crawl out of the sea, I’ve had all your stories inside my mind, I’ve…”

”But you haven’t _felt it_ , have you? Not before you lost your wings, and that made you all but crave what you knew you’d never have…” Crowley looked him over. ”Crave it enough to barter with a demon…”

 

Cas turned his eyes away, and paced a bit away. Crowley made a petulant sound before talking, again. 

”Oh you know I don’t mean a word of it feathers! It’s all love, nothing else, why would it ever be…!”

Cas was quiet for a moment longer, knowing that Crowley was looking at his back. 

 

”Why do you do this?” Cas said, still somewhat turned away. 

”What, barter with angels? Every demon would, given the opportunity!”

”No, I mean…” Cas turned around. ”I have no soul to sell and I’d never sell it to you, but just walking around the cell doesn’t…”

”Doesn’t what, seem logical? Look who’s talking, the naive god-bird with a unrequited lust for his human companion…”

Cas lifted his chin in surprise. 

”Ever thought I’d actually just do it because I _like it_? What demon wouldn’t enjoy fucking and Angel of the Lord over a table in the dungeon of…”

 

Cas didn’t hear the end. He’d walked out, stormed out more like it, not interested in hearing the ranting of a captured demon. 


	8. So... why did you trade?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone in the hideout, Castiel doesn't have much to pass his time, and finds himself down in the basement time and time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting, and I'm trying to work on this, I Promise <3 I finish my fics, even if I'm slow as fuck at times -_____-

The whole place felt empty. No one making coffee in the kitchen area, no one turning pages in the library, no one polishing the weapons or fixing the Impala in the garage… 

Castiel didn’t really know what he thought about it. What he actually felt, or what he just should be feeling or thinking. 

His mind drifted somewhat, once again down into the basement. Why? 

He noticed he didn’t really want to think about that. 

But he couldn’t really hinder himself, either. That humanity of his, boiling up to the surface. He thought about that deal, that made Crowley a demon to begin with. Why?

 

Not to let his mind wander too much, he went to the library. It was quiet. Cas didn’t really know what he’d supposed to find here, even though the only one imploring was himself. Maybe the deal _he’d_ made had impacted more on him then he wished to admit? No, he didn’t want to think of that. 

He went down, towards the machinery in the lower sections. When he was there, he looked around. Like what he was looking for had ever been here. 

Soon enough he stood in the storage again. Filled with artefacts and demon-traps and what else he barely dared to think of. As well as a massive, hidden door, that led into an area he was consciously trying to avoid. 

 

He didn’t succeed. 

 

~*~

 

Crowley greeted him in the usual way; with a grin and intense eyes. Like he knew something. Like Cas didn’t. 

There was a shiver down his spine, like he was still human. A cold feeling, but not unpleasant. Maybe that made it unpleasant? 

Crowley began to speak before Cas thought about his feelings any more. 

”My little bird has found his way back home. Ready for another round?”

Cas stared at the demon, surprised that he was still surprised by Crowley’s rudeness. ”You could at least try to be less crude. You are talking to an Angel of the Lord.”

”And miss your chocked little stare-downs? Why, this is the only entertainment a demon-king got these days, better make the most of it. Unless you’re actually telling me to ask nicer…? ’Oh mighty Angel of the Lord, might a wee demon like mineself bend thy gracious ass over?’”

”Just stop talking.”

 

Crowley got quiet, after stifling a chuckle. At least for a moment, before he looked up as Cas again. ”Then, if not for a fun time, and if you’ll excuse me for being so blunt: Why are you here?”

”I…” Cas looked down, the words flowing away from him. 

”You…?”

”Eh… Why did you sell your soul?”

 

The quiet that fell over the room was almost worth the trip down here and his own confusion, just to see that look on Crowleys face - completely unexpected surprise. 

”You never really answered. A dick, yes, but why?”

Crowley blinked. And then began to laugh. Still chained to the chair and in a fixed posture but the laugh rocked his body, and Cas couldn’t do much more then just wait it out. And telling himself that it wasn’t contagious. 

Yet another thing that lingered; laughter had never been contagious before. Angels didn’t need a sense of belonging outside of their knowledge and sense of purpose, they had no desire to relate to their peers like humans did. Laughter wasn’t ment for them. But the human sliver in him needed it. 

Like a cough ticking inside his lungs and pulling the corners of his lips and he fought it as much he could. 

Crowley began to cool down, and Cas still felt the smile tugging at him even after the demon stopped. When Crowley looked up, Cas just hoped he’d kept a straight face. 

 

”Oh feathers, you really know how to make my day.” Crowley seemed to forget his chains; he made a motion with his hand, became hindered, and stared down at it before collecting himself again. 

”Happy to be of service, I guess.”

Crowley chucked softly. 

”Well, now that we’d cleared that up, let’s get back to the question shall we? As I answered before, yes the brothers are right and I just got a bigger dick, but you wanted to know why?”

”If that’s not too intimate a question.”

”Feathers, my little dove, I’ve been inside your current body. You can as well return the favour, if you’d want a change of pace…”

Cas felt his skin crawl as a flush spread over his face, and he pulled his chin up at the mention of their intercourse, but didn’t interrupt. Crowley continued without pause. 

”To be honest it was a quite shitty deal I got, but every potential demon has their weak moments. That’s what makes us demons, basically. Many humans actually make a deal much like my own, but I always try to give them a fair deal. Well, not better then mine, bless their dammed souls, but I guess you could call me a bit sentimental, lets say?”

Crowley looked up and met Cas’s eyes, who didn’t return the invitingly open stare. 

”I’ll admit, I did expect more… eh, flair, I guess.” Cas said, and restored at Crowley’s crotch. 

”Oh you dimwitted bird-brain, this isn’t mine! It’s a borrowed one, the real one rotted off long ago, just as well, I never used it much. Though taking a piss became much simpler, as soon as I’d mastered the technique.”

Cas stared at him. ”It still sounds a bit… idiotic.”

”Oh, look at you, using the not so nice words! Mommy gonna brush your teeth with soap tonight, am I right?”

”No, I don’t…” 

”Oh don’t bother your head little birdie, it’s just a figure of speech. Also, have you ever thought about how your body matches your thoughts? Your feelings?” Crowley looked him over with an quite intent look, that made Cas want to squirm. Another leftover from being human; responding to simple looks like they were physical. 

”You’ve no idea how different your life becomes when your genitals are shaped properly…”

”Most humans trade their soul for power or love. Not for physical change.”

Crowley gave Cas a pointedly tired look in response. 

”And that’s all? I can’t logically have traded my soul for 2 more inches under the belt? Why’s that so unbelievable? I wasn’t a very well-versed human, that deal was such a bust to be honest, but I got what I wanted.”

”A longer dick? Really?”

”Not so much longer as a dick at all. The rest was pretty done with already, but you can’t believe what difference a pair of genitals can make…”

 

Cas just kept quiet for a moment. 

”Oh don’t tell me you’ve…!”

”I do understand the sentiment, but…”

”Is it really so hard a concept to grasp, not having the right genitalia? It’s not like I’m a freak of nature, my body just wasn’t showing what it should have been. So I wished for a dick. And, now, here I am.”

Crowley tried to spread his arms, which didn’t succeed, as he was still bound to the chair. He looked down in confusion, shook his restraints a little, then gave a deep sigh. 

”Feathers. My favourite angel. Could you _please_ let me out now?”

Cas smiled and turned away somewhat. He heard Crowley scoff as he did. 

”Don’t tell me you’re gonna leave me like this, after I’ve bared my lost soul for you? What more can a demon do to get a bit of freedom around here nowadays?”

”I’ll remind you that you’re a prisoner here.”

”Yeah yeah and you’re my staunch prison guard, I get it, I get it…”

 

Cas was about to talk to him some more; he turned back, smiling, looking Crowley in the eyes and opened his mouth. Half a word came out, while he saw Crowley’s lips turn into a crooked smile, when he heard something. 

The smile disappeared, and he turned. He heard voices. 

He heard Dean’s voice. 

The ice cold feeling that spread throughout his borrowed body was way too real, too paralysing, and he could barely think. He couldn’t let them see him here, he couldn’t let them know, what could he do? The door out was just a little bit open, enough to know that someone was here, and he could probably close it - but then he’d be stuck here, what if they came here and saw him, they’d know, Dean’d know, they see it all, they’d… 

”Feathers! Cas! Look at me!”

Crowleys hissing voice caught his attention and he turned towards the demon, eyes staring pleadingly. 

”Cas. I’m bound. You’re getting information. Everything’s fine, just as it should be, just straighten up and act like it! Fake it!”

”What if…”

”They don’t know shit, and they’ll not figure it out now! You’re just doing your job, pressing me for information, and…”

 

Crowley stopped as soon as the recognisable voice of Dean called out Cas’s name. 

”Cas! Cas, where are you?”

Cas turned towards the door, still like a deer in the headlights, but looked back at Crowley just as quickly. 

”Answer him. Tell him you’re interrogating me. That you’re in here. Do it!” The hissing voice was barely a whisper, and Cas swallowed before doing as he was told. 

”I’m here!” he shouted, looking at the door, trying to straighten his back and look authoritative. 

”You’re where? Cas, we just got back, thought you’d been in the library or something!”

”I’m in here, with Crowley.”

A uncertain look shared with the demon, who looked back with confidence, nodding at the door. 

”Go get them” he mouthed, barely no sound at all escaping his lips, and Cas nodded in acknowledgement. 

”Thanks” he whispered back, a grateful smile on his lips as he turned around and walked towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trans!Crowley! Woho!   
> Pls comment and kudos if u like it, and I'm on tumblr: InsanitysQueen or NeverBeenACorpse


	9. What's the point of this deal, anyhow?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a brief catching up with the brothers, and then spends more time with the demon. Until they're interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha, yes, I have not forgotten this work, nope I have not. I've just been off, quite a while, getting my shit together. Haven't done that yet, but I managed to get out another chapter, yo. Enjoy, I hope.

They sat in the kitchen, the three of them, going over the things they’d learned and found.   
There wasn’t much to it, the whole thing had been quite empty, but they’ hadn’t expected much to begin with. They all knew they were grabbing at straws, trying to figure out what an megalomaniac demon would do to win over Hell itself, all while the former King was locked in their basement.   
At the moment they where quiet, sitting around the table with some microwaved food in front of them.   
Dean had killed a monster Sam had dug out, but other then the normalcy of the hunt, nothing had come out of the kill.   
  
”So the monster wasn’t one of Abbadon’s…”  
”No Cas, it was a freelancer, just another shitface grabbing at power it doesn’t fucking understand!”  
Dean burst out, and got to his feet. ”Who wants a beer?” he almost screamed as he janked the fridge-door open.   
Cas was quiet, and Sam didn’t even react. He wondered a bit at the things inside him, and realised that his diaphragm wasn’t working as it should. It was almost cramping, and Cas got stuck in the wonder as to why it did that, until Dean slammed a bottle down on the table opposite where Cas was sitting and his whole body seemed to cramp.   
”So what now, huh?! What else can we do, when that ass in the basement won’t even tell us anything?” Dean looked at Sam, who was still looking down at his food, and Cas realised that his different muscles all seemed to respond to the tone of Dean’s voice.   
That his tone of voice affected his body in a physical sense, and it wasn’t comfortable.   
When Sam didn’t respond, Cas cut in instead.   
”Why do you use such a high tone of voice? We’re all sitting really close.”  
”Because…!” Dean shouted, almost getting out of his chair, but he looked away and sat back down, and continued with a slightly held-back voice. ”Because this is getting us nowhere! We had one lead, one! And that was a dud. So, no we have nothing, and just have to… sit around, doing nothing!”  
”We could try and contact other hunters…” Sam said, while pushing his food around.   
”And what do we say? That we got the former King of Hell in our basement? Yeah that’ll go done real nice, no worries.”  
  
Silence settled over them, but it was an uneasy silence. Cas still felt his borrowed body tense, feeling what he’d now identified as anxiety rise within him.   
”Maybe we could talk to Crowley.”  
He barely knew the words before he’d said them. He wondered if it showed.   
Dean wasn’t looking at him, neither was Sam.   
”It didn’t work that well last time, did it?” Sam said, still aghast.   
”Maybe we could ask differently?”   
”Yeah, maybe we could try the ’pretty please?’ or good cop bad cop, that’ll definitely work.*  
Cas looked at them both for a moment. They looked completely drained. Maybe this wasn’t a good time.   
”We should take a break. Sleep. You both need it, I’m sure.”  
”We’re fine.” Dean said, taking a swig from the beer bottle.   
Cas paused, looked him over. He could see the muscles through the open shirt, the way Dean’s throat swallowed down the liquid.   
”Actually, we should get some sleep. Cas is right” Sam added, out of nowhere, making Cas almost jump in his seat.   
”You’re like concerned parents. I’m fine, you go to sleep!”  
”I actually don’t…”  
”Yeah yeah, why don’t you hang out with Crowley or something instead…” Dean got up, took a long swig from the bottle, and threw it in the sink. He raised his hand somewhat before he departed, and Cas couldn’t stop staring at the doorway even after he’d disappeared.   
Did he know?!  
The horror of that thought was like solid ice though him, and he couldn’t move. Couldn’t look away. Like he was stuck in a time-freeze, even though his heart beat in his chest and his lungs still drew in air.   
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Sam standing over him.   
”Don’t worry about him, he’s just pulling your strings. It was a long drive back.”  
Sam clapped him on the shoulder, said some comforting words, and left as well.   
Cas wasn’t really comforted. 

~*~

The heavy door made little sound as it pulled up, and Crowley’s eyes met his the moment the light went on.   
”Feathers. What do I owe your pleasure for? I take it the brothers want to beat their frustration out on me, right? I’m been looking forward to this ever since they left.”  
”I… I think Dean knows…”  
Cas stood before Crowley, bound to the chair as usual, and Crowley’s eyes changed from the regular taunting look to a much more serious one. Almost human, even, if the concern in them wasn’t just a figment of Cas’s imagination.   
  
”Why do you think that?”  
”Something… he said something about me going to hang out with you… while they slept.”  
Crowley clicked his tongue, threw his head back. ”Nothing more? Just some regular taunting?”  
”He sounded…”  
”What, he sounded angry? When does he not? I mean I don’t mind the company, but believe me, he doesn’t know shit. He can’t even believe you’re infatuated with him, how could he…”  
”He said it as he left. It was like…” Cas paused, after interrupting Crowley’s tirade before it grew too tiresome.   
”Like what? He was done, tired, irritated?”   
They looked at each other, Crowley with raised eyebrows and Cas with a somewhat furrowed brow. He didn’t really understand that gesture yet, but his body did it for him, like it knew his feelings better then he did.   
”Feathers. If he ever found out, he would not be using it as petty taunting. I promise you that.”  
Cas doubted him, but still felt some of the tension pour off his shoulders. Enough for him to think of a witty reply.   
”Like demons ever made promises they ment to keep.”  
  
Crowley went from serious to laughing in no time. ”Hey, he’s back! I wondered where you’d left that sliver of your grace, apparently it was hiding under that angst of yours!”  
Cas shook his head.   
”But seriously though, Dean doesn’t know anything, okey? It’s like the entirety of the world is asexual, except for the women he sleeps with. I don’t know how Moose handles it. If someone would figure anything out, it would be that lumbering man-thing that is Dean’s brother, but he’s too stuck up his books to even notice his angel has gone missing.”  
”I’m not…”  
”Yes you are my little dove, you’re missing from your room and meeting in secret with the demon in the basement. I know a lot of interesting stories that start as such…”  
Cas waved his hand to stop Crowley from continuing. ”Please spare me the details of your sinful fantasies.”  
”Why, I thought you’d like it?” Crowley taunted, spreading his legs casually, making Cas shift his focus towards his crotch, if just for a moment. Enough to notice a swelling.   
Cas looked away, closed his eyes. ”Really?”  
”What, I’m a demon with a very active imagination! I’ve already undressed both you and the brothers several times since you came down here, and the fantasies I had before you turned that light on…!”  
  
Cas looked him over. ”Do you ever stop?”  
”Why would I? Because, really, what else can I do here, then think happy thoughts of you and those lips of your, among other things…”  
Cas looked away, but felt his facial skin fill with blood, building heat.   
”Unshackle me, and I promise you I won’t force myself upon you.”  
Cas laughed. ”That’s not even a deal. Are you loosing your touch?”  
Crowley shrugged nonchalantly. ”Being locked in and empty room for weeks at an end will do that to you. Happens to the best of us.”  
”Apparently.”  
Crowley looked up, met Cas’s eyes. ”Aw, did you just insinuate that I’m… the best?”  
”I guess you don’t become King of Hell for nothing.”  
At that Crowley actually lost his taunting smile, looking at Cas with a more serious look. ”I do believe that’s a compliment.”  
Cas shrugged.   
”A compliment from an Angel of the Lord. Would you look at that. Pigs actually do fly, if you wait long enough.”  
”It’s not a compliment as such, it’s…”  
”Oh no feathers, this is big. Bigger then my balls. Though, I guess, by now they would barely be balls anymore, what with how many years since they rotted away.”  
”You’re awfully casual about that all, loosing your body to decomposing.” Cas said, getting a bit closer.   
”I’ve had enough years to mull it over.”  
”Do you miss it?”  
”Being human? Eating and shitting and dying from some insignificant sickness or a random accident? Why the fuck would I miss that?”  
Cas looked away, rolling his eyes. ”I’m just curious, I suppose.”  
Crowley took a moment before answering. ”No. Not worth it, if you ask me. No idea why those boys try to stop it all from ending all the time. Not like they’d ever gotten the better part of the deal, and they’ve both consorted with both demons and angels, making deals and breaking them at their own whim. Why they’re still at it is a bloody mystery, I tell you.”  
Cas didn’t answer, except for turning away slightly, walking slowly around the room. Crowley watched him in silence, and Cas felt like it was building towards something. He had no idea what that might be, though; Crowley’d closed up his legs again, enough for it to be decent, and it didn’t feel like anything between them was the telltale sexual energy from their other meetings. Cas walked around, shifting in his coat, feeling more and more like this was all something that would implode soon enough; thinking of Sam and Dean knowing what he’d done, what he’d let happen here, how he, and Angel of the Lord, had struck a deal with a demon. With the King of Hell. 

Or, if Crowley was to be believed, the former King of Hell. Abbadon was still on the loose, and the brothers hadn't gotten many leads, if any, to go after. That's why Crowley was still tied in the basement. That, and also him being a demon. 

"If the brothers find Abbadon, they're going to kill you."

Cas heard his own voice echo around the room softly, and he couldn't see how Crowley reacted. He was still walking, slowly and steadily, around the chair Crowley was tied to, and he was now behind him, unable to see the demons face. Crowley made no move or said anything at first, and Cas continued his circle, and soon he could meet Crowley's eyes again. 

"Already figured that one out, did you?" Crowley's voice was the regular sarcastic drawl, and Cas met his eyes, now stopping in front of him. "Way to set the mood, bird-boy. Good job, and here I thought we'd make another go at that deal we had going, but you had to act like the damn Agent of the Winchesters."

Cas furrowed his brows, a sign of confusion. He'd done that a lot before, but it had been much more deliberately. Now, this body had its own ways of making his feelings and thoughts known, even when he himself didn't want it to. Another trace left from his brief humanity. 

"Aren't you afraid? The brothers are out of ideas, and that's why you're still alive, but if they find anything at all, you're not going to be staying here. And they're not just going to let you free."

Crowley didn't respond immediately. He looked at Cas in a way he couldn't discern, something in his eyes and the way he barely tilted his head that Cas didn't understand, even though he knew enough about humans by know to know that pretty much everything their body did had meaning. Everything was a little glimpse into their mind, what they where feeling; just like his own body was trying to do, most of the time. 

When Crowley spoke, his voice was a bit less of his old self, and a bit more... somber? Cas knew something was off about it, hearing it differently then before, but this body didn't register enough to really understand the nuances of the different volumes that a body could produce. And Cas himself had only limited understanding of their significance, anyhow. 

"What would you feel if they offed me? Right here, right in front of you, probably with that angelic blade or the demon-killing knife or maybe they'd let you do it? Use your magic what-not on me, blowing light out of every orifice, like some twisted kind of christmas decoration. And you'd just stand there, watching the demon in me burn away by your Blessed Light or whatever you'd call it, holding a straight face in front of the brothers? In front of Dean? What would you feel then, feathers? What would go through your mind, if so?"

The look that Crowley gave Cas became more and more intense. There was something behind it, like the building from before, now visible through the eyes of this demon before him. 

Cas forced himself to not look away, to not show any sign of emotion. Because he wasn't sure what that sign would be. 

"Would you rejoice, knowing this little deed would bring you closer to your beloved yet bull-headed meat-sack? Maybe he'd be so smitten with you, seeing you brun the King of Hell in front of him, that he'd grab you in his strong, manly arms and kiss you right then and there, with my burnt out body laying just beside you. Maybe he'd pull you down, bend you over that little table there, and consummate his newly discovered love for you, while this body'd still be hot and smoking."

"No, that's... that wouldn't happen. Dean wouldn't do such a thing."

"How could you know? Maybe that's his turn-on, seeing demons burn."

"It's not, he doesn't even have an engine of any kind..."

Crowley chuckled and, thankfully, looked away. "Oh, feathers, I'll miss this, right here, with you. Such times we've had, wouldn't you say? Maybe you'd even remember me if I'm disintegrated."

"I would... could not forget what you've done to Sam and Dean."

"Oh, yes. The only two things that makes your life worth living: the Winchesters."

"No, it's..."

"Birdie, you still haven't said anything about yourself. All you've said is about Dean. Wasn't that the point of this deal, anyhow? Making you, oh I don't know, _forget about him!?_ "

Cas shut his mouth, and had no idea of how to respond. Whatever he'd wanted to gain from Crowley by asking that question had truly been forgotten, and in some way, he felt that Crowley was right. He didn't really come down here to discuss Dean, but it seemed that's all that ever happened. Every discussion came back to him, every trail of thought came back to him, every single thing he did seemed to always come back to Dean. 

A while Dean didn't even notice him unless there was something to gain from it. Like always. 

Crowley was quiet before him, looking him over but not too intensley. Cas did the same, and from one moment to the next, he was by Crowleys side, and unlocking the restraints that held him down. 

"Feathers! I didn't know you had it in you!"

"Quiet, else they might hear..."

Crowley sat still, and Cas could feel his eyes on the back of his head, as he bent down to unlock the restraints holding Crowley's legs in place. Once it was done, he stood back up, or tried to, but felt hands over his head, holding him down, and suddenly he felt warm lips across his own. He answered in kind; lips touching, pressed together, almost painfully, as Crowley held Cas on his knees before him. 

Cas adjusted, from standing on one knee temporarily, to standing on both, in front of Crowley, sitting in his prison like it was a throne-room, feeling him separate his lips just slightly, the touch of a tongue over his own, and he opened his mouth to gasp for breath. Their tongues touched, carefully stroking over each other, their lips playing over each other, as Crowley still held his head too hard, keeping him down before him. 

Cas felt him tug at his neck, bringing him closer, and he placed his hands on Crowley's knees for support, while leaning over, getting closer. Crowley didn't need to spread his legs to fit Cas between them, and Cas didn't complain when he dragged him closer. He shuffled one leg closer, between Crowley's, then his next, pausing the kiss only slightly, to give an indulgent smile with closed eyes, before leaning in and catching Crowley's lip between his teeth. 

Crowley made a noise Cas wasn't able to label, and Cas reached up to stroke Crowley's neck, pressing him closer, dragging himself up. Crowley still had his hands around Cas's neck and face, but he let the grip go just enough, and Cas rewarded him with a deeper kiss; tongues playing around each other, an almost too hard bite over Crowley's lip, gaining a hissing encouragement and spread legs as far as the chair let him. 

Cas settled himself in between those legs, feeling the edge of the seat press into his thighs, the crotch of the demon against his stomach, pulsating through the fabric, gaining in volume with every move. Cas shifted slightly, moving his midsection to press harder against Crowley, and gaining an moaning exhale for his troubles. 

A faint noise spooked him. Cas froze, listening intently, and Crowley stayed as still. 

"CAAAS?!" 

Cas met Crowley's eyes. Not knowing if he was asking a question or begging for time. He could feel this body freeze over, unable to control it at all, his eyes completely locked on Crowley's but unable to really see anything. 

"Feathers. _Feathers!_  Shackle me!"

Cas felt his mind come back to him, slowly, like thawing ice from the edges of his vision, and he could see Crowley's intent staring. 

"Shackle me, you dumb bird! I'll do the rest, just... god damn it, wingless, snap out of it!"

Cas felt a  intense pain radiate from the side of his face, and his view shifted slightly. 

"Bird-brain! Here, look at me, good, now bloody _shackle me!_ "

Crowley waved his wrists in Cas's face, and when they caught his eyes he slammed them down on the armrests, awaiting to be restrained, and soon enough Cas was beginning to get some sense of mobility, and moved his shaking hands to get the restraints back in place. 

Another call came from without, and managed to get Cas to freeze again, but this time Crowley was able to get him back in less time, and now Cas was working on his ankle-restraints, managing to drop them more times then not. Crowley whispered at him, and while it irritated him, it actually managed to make him more focused. 

"Bloody useless, the damn brothers, what do they want now? I can't believe they managed to get this away from me, uyo can't believe what I've been fantasising while you weren't here, wingless, oh the plans I had for you..."

"This isn't the time, they'll know, they'll find me, they'll..."

"Cas, _Cas!_  Seriously, do I have to do everything around here, just shackle me and I'll do the talking, okey? They're clueless, those bumbling morons, they're..."

"Cas?! Where are you? Cas!?"

"He's close, he'll see, he'll.." 

"Cas, birdie, look at me. You're done. It's good enough. Open the door."

Cas stood up, brushed his coat absentmindedly, slowly backing from Crowley's chair, still with his eyes on the demon, who nodded encouragingly ta him, hinting towards the door behind him. 

"Cas! Cas, are you in there?"

Before Cas could respond, he turned around and found Dean on the other side of the open doors. Staring at each other for a moment, Cas at a loss for words, Dean seemingly confused to see him there, they where both interrupted by a noice, coming from the demon in the room. 

"Hey, it's the smaller Winchester! Welcome, welcome, please make yourself at home in my humble abode!"

Dean shifted to look at Crowley, but scrunched his nose and shook his head, and turned again to Cas.

"Cas, I didn't find you. Why, why are you...!"

"What do you think? To visit me of course!" said Crowley from behind them, interrupting whatever Cas had been thinking of saying. 

"Crowley, shut your cake hole." Dean said, turning slightly towards the demon. 

"But isn't it why you're here? To help Cas get some more information out of me? Take a turn beating the demon-bag? Why else would you take the stairs all the way down here?"

"To get Cas, you idiot!"

"Wanted a little alone time with him, is that right? Felt a little too lonely in your empty dark room, perhaps?"

"Shut your mouth before I banish your ass!"

Crowley held up his hands, as much he could in the restraints, in mock surrender. "And here I thought you needed me." he said in a low voice, but enough for both Cas and Dean to hear, but Dean chose to ignore it. Cas, on the other hand, gave Crowley a disbelieving glance, before Dean turned him towards him. 

"Hey, Cas. So, uhm, I was thinking about the last hunt, and I realised that... uhm, maybe we shouldn't have left you all alone back here. I mean you have some of your grace back and all that, and it's no fun being alone and all that..."

"He's not alone, he's got me!" Crowley called from the middle of the room, interrupting Dean. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, shaking his head as to not let himself be tempted by the demon, Dean didn't respond. Instead, he continued with only a moment of paus. 

"... As I said, being **all alone**  with only this asshole smoke-brain as a conversation partner, and I thought, like... you're a brother to me, Cas. You deserve to be part of everything we do, you know? And..."

"Wait. Dean, are you drunk?" Cas said, as Dean leaned in a bit closer, grabbing hold of Cas's shoulder, and Cas felt his breath over his face. 

Behind him, he heard a small chuckling from Crowley. 

"No. I'm not drunk. I haven't drank enough yet. Drunk. Dricken. Fuck I don't know..." Dean said. Cas looked him over; clothes that were basically thrown over his body, his face a bit red, even in the darkened room, and the way he leaned in over him, like he was holding onto Cas for stability. 

Cas reached out and put a hand over Dean's back, looking him over. Dean was quiet, for the moment, and quite still by his side. He looked up at Cas. 

Their eyes met. Cas felt his body shut down, part for part. First his breathing, then his heart. But then Dean opened his mouth. 

"You're a fucking awesome best friend, you know that? Working on the case in the middle of the night, keeping the place secure, having out backs. You're an awesome being, Cas. Don't forget that."

With that, Dean gave Cas a pat on the shoulder, and began to walk out. Before he was out of the room, he turned, and gave Cas some kind of hand-wink-gesture. Then he was gone. 

Cas stood still. 

"Well that was bloody rude of him, even for a Winchester."

Crowley's voice brought Cas back, and he turned towards the demon. He didn't say anything at first, or do nothing, and couldn't really meet Crowley's eyes. 

He could feel Crowley looking him over. Like his skin would rise, the small hairs on his arms shift and stand up as his face passed him over, eve though that would be unnatural. A body couldn't affect another by sight alone, not if they where a regular human body possessed by either a demon or angel. Like Cas and Crowley was. So, the logical conclusion was that his body didn't 'feel' Crowley's eyes on it, and that the strange sensation of being 'looked at' was much more psychological. 

But Cas felt it, none the less. And it was a strange, peculiar feeling. Like it ment something. 

He just couldn't discern what that meaning could be. 

"Should you go after you little human friend, feathers? Because I feel that the mood might have been completely destroyed by his surprise visit, sadly."

Cas looked up at him then, a bit confused at the trail of thought the demon was giving words to. 

"Unless you'd like to get back between my legs, that is. Laying eyes on that sweet beef-cake of a man should do wonders for your constitution, am I right?"

At this, Crowley leaned back, but didn't spread his legsi like he'd done when Cas entered the chamber. It was just the casual way he was, consciously ignorant of others, but Cas could see he acted a bit differently. 

So when Cas started to walk towards the demon, Crowley seemed momentarily lost. 

"Uh ,I guess I was wrong, then? You're just gonna beat your frustration out of me, or lock me up better then the hastily done job you did earlier. Bloody rude of a Winchester to interrupt us, in the... Feathers..."

Crowley spoke a lot of words that Cas didn't really hear, and as he got close to the chair he leaned down, undid the restraints over Crowleys wrists, which went fast as he hadn't done a great job on them earlier, and sat down over the demons lap. 

For a moment, Crowley was wordless. 

"Okey, little birdie, I guess you want, maybe, more of what you bargained for? I'm not the one to turn a good shag away, but I do feel like I should remind you that the door..."

Cas pressed his mouth against Crowley's, both hands holding the demons face, and he even felt the demons hands rise, but they didn't encircle him. Just hanged in the air on both sides of him. 

His knees pressed hard into the chair's stone back, his legs uncomfortably folded over Crowley's legs, and his hands holding his unshaven face between them. As well as his lips, pressed just a little too hard against his, unmoving for the moment. 

Cas adjusted his seat somewhat, never leaving Crowley's face with his hands or lips, and soon after he felt arms around his waist, just slightly over his hipbones, and he felt Crowley shift a bit underneath him, then holding him down over him and puckering his lips against Cas's, before spreading them slightly, invitingly. 

Cas took the invitation as soon as it was given, spreading his lips and tasting Crowleys', stroking his tongue over them, meeting his and shifting slightly, twisting into the kiss, whilst feeling Crowleys hands grab him harder. He shifted slightly, again, adjusting his position and getting up a bit higher, then settling back down again, and Crowley reacted immediately; pushing his hands up over Cas's back, pulling him close, leaning forward slightly to meet him, deepening the kiss. Their tongues tasting each other, their lips wet and swollen against each others, and Cas felt himself inhaling Crowley's exhale. He thought of the particles in their breath, the way he could feel the heat and humidity of it, the way his body shivered as he felt Crowley hold his body, as well as having him inside his lungs. He felt his eyes shiver up, under his eyelids, noting that his human body reacted much more this time around. Without conscious thought, he'd moved his hands from holding onto Crowley's face, down over his throat and shoulders, even pushing his clothes away, exposing a bit more flesh underneath the fabric of his fine, but ruined, suit. 

"Sorry about your suit." Cas heard himself say, whiles leaning back a bit, pausing his kiss with Crowley, who'd continued to kiss his throat and cheek-bones instead. The remark made Crowley pause, which sent a feeling of irritation through Cas's body, but then he chuckled slightly, still against Cas's skin, and he melted into the touch again. 

"If it's ruined only because of this, they you'd need never apologise, my dear little feathered friend. Alas, it was much worse even before I was cuffed into this blatantly humiliating chair, so you needn't take any blame for it."

Cas nodded, but barely managed to finish the movement before Crowley was sucking at his shoulder, making him exhale in a fashion he didn't control, a sound leaving his lips that he hadn't given any conscious thought too, but Crowley noticed it none the less, and Cas felt the fleeting but sharp points of teeth along his skin. Not hard, not piercing, but enough to make him notice, and his body made another sound, though this time more pronounced. 

The sound was accompanied by his body moving, and from one moment to the next, he was made aware of his clothes had grown less comforting, and how the seams of his pants pressed painfully against his genitals, which'd grown hard during the last moments. 

Soon after he'd noticed it, Crowleys hand was stroking over his hipbone, and then down his front, his thumb separating from the rest of his fingers and stroking his erection gently through the fabric, his fingers moving to circle it but being hindered by the fabric of Cas's pants. 

There was a sound, coming from Crowley, that made Cas stop momentarily; the sound of a moan, soft and slightly hindered, escaping through Crowleys clenched teeth. Cas could feel the exhale over his face, and he leaned in to kiss the moan of Crowley's lips, while Crowley started to move his fingers. Cas felt his body move, shifting slightly up, then down again, his hips moving with every little move Crowley's fingers did, trying to get more, trying to feel more. 

"Little angel..."

The words escaped between kisses, when Cas leaned back slightly, with closed eyes, to feel the pleasure of fingers stroking his erection, the thumb rubbing the tip through the fabric, and Cas responded by leaning in hard, pushing Crowley against the back of the chair. His hands where grabbing the fabric over his shoulders, a few buttons un-clasped already, and Crowley looked up at him, eyes dark and demanding. 

If there where some words on Cas's tongue, he didn't find them fast enough, and he pressed his lips back against Crowleys, and felt the moan vibrate within him before escaping up into Crowley's willing lips. 

Crowley's fingers where no longer stroking Cas's erection, but instead both his hands had left his sides, and where now trying to open up his pants. Cas felt his hips jut forward, seeking friktion, holding Crowley's shoulders and neck hard, the rest of his body moving independently; as Crowley un-clasped the button, Cas's hips where rutting down against his legs, making slow strokes back and forth. With ever move, his cock touched Crowley's hands, stroked lightly against them, wishing for more friction, but Crowley wouldn't give it. Yet. 

As his zipper was drawn down, Cas opened his mouth over Crowley's lips, and then he felt his fingers slowly eat their way inside of his clothing. Cas didn't make any sounds as the fingers first touched the skin of his cock, without any fabric between them, but he managed to open his eyes just slightly. 

The piercing eyes of Crowley was staring back at him, mouth slightly agape, completely focused on every little move his face made as he pulled at the clothes, the briefs and the pants, to completely expose Cas's cock to the cold of the room. 

"Ah... oh..." was awht escaped over Cas's lips, words forgotten, and Crowley smiled hungrily at him as his fingered encircled his cock, and began to move. 

Cas's eyes fluttered shut, his head lolling back on his shoulders, as Crowley stroke his erection; his thumb placed at the top, smearing the pre-cum all over the head, and his hand stroking up and down, slowly, with a steady and firm grip. 

Still holding onto his shoulders, Cas leaned back, and bucked his hips. Crowley took the invitation, but at first he didn't do anything with it; just slowly, almost infuriatingly so, moving his hand up and down, his thump rubbing at the slit on top. Cas heard himself moan, and felt how Crowley placed his hand at the small of Cas's back, holding him steady while still not changing the pace. 

"Aren't you an angel for sore eyes..." he said, almost whispered, before he began to move faster, his hand taking a firmer hold, and jerking Cas properly. 

Cas was pretty much out of it; he could feel, but not really think, and his body was focused on his crotch, tensing and moving with Crowley's movements, holding his shoulders in a firm grip while leaning over Crowley's hand, placed comfortably just over his ass. The sounds he made wasn't overly high, but they echoed in the round room, along with Crowley's laboured breaths, but it was just a detail. 

He felt pleasure build, making his body tense together, leaning in over Crowley again, his hips bucking up into Crowley's hand. He leaned his head against Crowley's, standing on his knees over him, fucking his hand harder, seeking more friction, more pleasure, feeling it inside him, his breaths shallow and fast, arms holding Crowley's head hard, the hand holding his back giving warmth and stability. 

"Come, little angel. Cum for me."

Cas heard the whispered words meant only for him, and felt the hand around his cock tense, and jerk faster with more focus over the head, his hips out of rhythm and just moving for the sake of it, pushing himself closer and closer, suddenly bucking up, hard, the pleasure spilling over and his eyes rolling into the back of his skull. 

He rode the pleasure for a while, Crowley's hand continuing to massage and stroke him throughout it, feeling hot lips over his collarbone, but soon he came down, and blinked his eyes at the demon before him. 

Crowley looked up at him, but the smile changed when their eyes met, and he stoped stroking him; instead just placing his hand over Cas's junk, pretty much folding it back into it's place inside his clothes. He was shrinking fast, the cold of the room doing nothing to help, as well as his realisation of what he was doing. 

The hand over his back let go, and Cas stepped back, stood up on his feet, and closed up his clothes. 

Crowley sat back, leaning into the chair, his hands over the armrests, waiting for Cas to shackle him up again. He didn't let Cas go, his eyes still on him, and Cas took a few moments to gather himself. He tried to look away, but that feeling, like being watched, was too intense to ignore. 

"I guess you'd want to restrain me again, before you go back to your little rendezvous with the would-be bear in the higher chambers of this establishment."

Crowley's voice was as cool as ever, like the air in the room, but it didn't do much to calm Cas. He closed his eyes, swallowed to try and gain his composure, and managed to taste Crowley on his lips. His breath hitched, and he tried to play it over, smooth it down, but if Crowley noticed, nothing was said. 

Cas turned, looked Crowley over, and gestured for him to get back in his seat. Even though he was already sitting there, limbs placed correctly and all. 

As he walked over, and bent down to lock the restraints, he didn't look Crowley in the eyes. He didn't do much, except just the movements needed to lock him up again. First his hands, which where already placed correctly, so he didn't need to make any physical contact. Crowley didn't move, but as Cas shifted to the second hand, he managed to touch his skin. It was hot, and made him draw for breath, remembering those hands on him just moments ago, his underwear still wet with the proof of it. He tried not to look, but his eyes fluttered, and he saw traces of himself near Crowley's crotch. 

If Crowley saw him looking, he didn't say anything, or do anything untoward. He just sat still, and Cas felt a overwhelming relief that he didn't react. He wouldn't know how to handle the situation right now, and he wasn't sure what he'd do in reaction. 

Lastly, he kneeled down on one knee, checking the restraints around his ankles once more, but they where still locked tight. Crowley watched him, but didn't meet his eyes, and the quiet in the room was soothing. 

When he was done, Cas stood in front of the demon, for a while, doing nothing. Crowley had his eyes on him, but not demanding anything, not even eye-contact. Cas felt like he should do something, say something, but he didn't know what. 

So he didn't. 

He turned, went for the door, and stopped when he noticed that the door was ajar. Dean hadn't closed it. Behind him, a low sigh. He didn't turn to look, and the demon didn't say anything, not even when Cas turned around to close the door, and for a second managed to get eye-contact, before the door closed between them. 

Cas looked the door over, making sure it was locked and closed properly, and then turned around. His plan was to walk up, maybe get a shower and change clothes, but suddenly his body wasn't obeying him. 

For a brief moment, he wondered it there was something happening; was he loosing his body, his vessel? Was he broken, the last moments being the wedge that tore him from the last bits of his grace forever?

Soon enough though, he realised it was neither of those things. His body was locked down because of his emotional state, and nothing supernatural. 

That didn't make him feel much better, though, as he began to climb the stairs up to meet the brothers. Not at all, actually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh Cas, my little angel.   
> I'm on tumblr: NeverBeenACorpse of InsanitysQueen. Check me out <3


	10. With his subdued voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers needs answers, and solutions, and it seems like there might be a plan evolving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not forgotten about this, I've just been focusing on more serious works <3 I am continually writing on it tho, so no worries, there's gonna be more ^^

Cas wasn't comfortable, walking up the stairs. He thought about how his emotional state had been enough to affect his physical vessel directly, and it didn't make him calm. That his body could do such things even when he himself did not let it, without any demonic or angelic force behind it, only spoke more about how this whole situation had begun to affect him. 

Crowley had asked about him killing him. 

It was true, that the brothers would never let him just... walk out. Why would they? He was the King of Hell, if he still had the throne that was, which was debatable. He'd been away for quite some time, and with what he said about Abbadon was fully true, then he might have truly lost his place on the top of the food chain. 

While stepping up into the reading chambers, Cas noticed how intensely he was thinking about Crowley. About a _demon_ , of all beings. 

How long he'd really fallen. The heart beating inside his vessel was beating hard, and he wondered why. The memory of Crowley, sitting stil and solemnly in his chair, stil with his trademark aura around him but something had been different when Cas had left. Something had been off, more so then ever before. 

Cas thought of how long he'd been down there, basically tied in the same place, without much more then the irregular visits from the brothers, and now himself. 

Anyone, or anything, would loose their shine, their aura if they where forced to endure the same. 

Cas continued towards his room, or the kitchen, or the library. Somewhere else then here, where he might not think about Crowley any more. Because, in the end, what was the point? He was a demon, how high up on the food chain ever he might be. It didn't matter. He was still the scum of the earth, doomed to live forever in terror and pain. 

That was the curse of demons, of trading their souls or committing terrible acts during their lives. Crowley was a demon. 

Cas knew that thought was supposed to feel differently. 

~*~

When Cas awoke from his resting state, more like the human version of 'meditating', he felt that something was different around the base. 

He left his room, looking through the corridor outside, wondering where the brothers might have disappeared to. Not knowing, but sensing that something was up, he turned the corner to the kitchen area, but they weren't there; their leftovers was, though. Open bottles, probably since last night, when Dean had come searching for him, but also telltale signs that a breakfast of sorts hade taken place. 

Not that they usually got up and fetched Cas first thing they did, but he still felt a bit of a sting at the clear signs that they'd eaten sausages from the fridge and some kind of sandwiches, the typical 'hunter on the trail' kind of meal, without even rousing Cas. 

It wasn't important though, and he left the kitchen untouched, at walked over to the library. 

The brothers where there, whispering over something, and Cas felt his core run cold. Maybe they knew. Maybe something had happened. Maybe Crowley'd told them? If they'd been down, questioning him, what if... did they ever make a promise not to tell anyone? Did they, really? Or did Crowley just 'promise' to not tell the brothers, and as the demon he is, broke that promise he'd never intended to keep?

Was that why they'd eaten without him? Why they where whispering over open books and beer bottles?

Cas again felt that inability to move. He hid, quite openly, in the doorway, not yet noticed by the brothers and in no way able to either walk away or get their attention. What where they talking about? What where they planning to do?

For a moment he saw himself locked into the same room Crowley now occupied, bound to the same chair, or one just like it, sitting adjacent to the demon, exiled and locked away like the fallen angel he was. 

He wondered if the room would hold an angel, and realised that it probably would. This wasn't some hastened circle; this was so much more. 

"Cas! Cas, we think we found something! Come!"

Sam's voice was loud, catching Cas off guard and the cold within his body was momentarily all he could feel. But the way Sam looked at him made him think that it was fine; they maybe didn't know. 

If they did, he couldn't do much. His grace was damaged, and his powers far from enough to successfully stand against the Winchesters within their own base. 

He took a step in their direction, Sam waving him along, before disappearing down into the books again, trading a few low words with Dean, who'd given Cas a tired nod. The feelings within Cas, so much more intense then he'd ever thought they could be before he'd been human, was in turmoil. He felt so much, and almost none of the feelings fet good, even if he didn't know them all. 

But again, Sam waved him over, and he went. 

"Cas, look; we found something, maybe this will prove useful!"

"Sam was up early and read through some volumes again, and apparently we'd failed in the translations somewhat..." Dean yawed, a bottle in his hand as he tried half-heartedly to conceal it. Cas looked him over, while his eyes where closed, and Sam was focused only on the texts; Dean was the same as most days. Clothes barely matching, looking like they'd been plucked from the floor (which was most definitely the case as well), dark circles and tousled hair. 

Somehow, he was still stunning. 

"... it wasn't actually about that, it was that the Mark could give the wearer powers and not just curses, it's really fascinating when you realise that this word is actually more or a slang then the exact..."

"He's trying to tell you that apparently there's a chance that I'm immune, or something, to whatever Abbadon can do, because of this Mark I so gracefully accepted..." Dean said, looking at Cas. Sam stopped talking, and looked at them both, thrilled at the prospect of finally being able to actually take Abbadon down. 

"So.. do we have any clue as to... eh, how that would be useful?" Cas tried to sound inquisitive, and look like he cared, but neither or the brothers seemed to give him any undivided attention either way. 

”Not sure… I mean, it's not mentioned elsewhere, so there might be something they missed, or we've just been lacking…”  
  
”Maybe she just can’t be stopped.” Dean added, drawing another taste from the bottle.  
  
”Dean, seriously. At least try to show some hope, will you?” Sam said it without looking up at him, and Dean just sighed in response, which Sam ignored.  
  
”So… have you been up all night?” Cas tried to ask, drawing a bit closer, hoping he didn’t sound too inquisitive.  
  
”Nah, we mostly just… ”  
  
”Dean was making a fuss in the kitchen, making some kind of… edible arrangement…”  
  
”It was a sandwich-burger. The best thing when you’re hungover!”  
  
”Why where you hung over again?” Sam looked up at Dean, but Dean didn’t respond more then a shrug. Feeling like he was missing something, and just a tad bit emboldened by how little notice they seemed to give him, Cas asked mother question.  
”Dean. Did you do something last night?”  
  
Dean shrugged, didn’t even look up at Cas before answering. ”Nah, I mostly… tried to work, but there was nothing worthwhile and then…” he seemed to think for a while, before continuing. ”Hey, Cas, did I come talk to you? I have a feeling I did… Like, there’s some memory about… you in the basement?”  
  
Cas regretted his line of questioning. His vessel grew rigid, cold shivers running through him, the fear of being exposed completely taking him over. What would he do if they found out? If the brothers knew?  
What could he say?  
  
”You probably just walked into the closet and thought your pile of clothes was Cas, jerk.” Sam added, in the middle of Cas’s mental turmoil, like it was nothing.  
  
”Bitch.”  
  
Cas still stood a bit away, and stood stil for a moment, watching them over. He was on the verge of breaking, of loosing his mind over the stress of almost being called out, and these two where going on like it was nothing.  
Like they didn’t notice at all.  
Cas knew he wasn’t that good at faking it, or trying to appear ’normal’, especially to these two. They knew him too well, especially now since he’d been human and gained a much better understanding of their feelings; they knew he couldn’t really handle them at all. Least of all conceal them.  
But they didn’t notice. Not at all. 

Not now, not earlier. It was a bit enlightening, in a very discomforting way; was Crowley really right? That they didn't know, didn't notice? Dean had been so close to remebering, but hadn't gone the whole way, and Sam had stepped in and just... misdirected him. 

Maybe Crowley was right; that they wouldn’t ever know. At least not Dean. Cas looked over at him; he’d sat down in one of the armchairs, thrown himself down into it with a book nearby, like he was trying to do the same thing Sam was doing, though he didn’t make much of an impressive display. Maybe he too was bad at hiding his emotions, his state of mind; not as bad as Cas, as he’d had a lifetime of training, but still. He’d focused on so much else growing up.  
If he was even half as bad at interpreting the state of others around him, he would probably never know.  
Cas looked over at Sam, and thought that he was the same, in his own way. Too focused on research and whatever projects he felt he needed to work on to barely notice that Cas was nearby.  
  
It was an unexpected epiphany.  
  
”Maybe we should ask Crowley.”  
  
The words where out of him before he thought them over, and he regretted them immediately, waiting for the shame and guilt to pass over him... but it didn't. He waited, while Sam and Dean looked at him, for his face to become hot and for his voice to falter and for him to mutter words to take it all back, and the worry that he'd expose himself. 

But the feeling didn't actually come over him. 

Sam and Dean looked surprised, then they looked at each other, wordless discussions echoing between their eyes, and Cas stood by the side, wondering what he was actually feeling. 

He didn't actually know. 

Maybe his vessel was becoming damaged? To make a deal with a demon, the King of Hell no less, must have some consequences... last time, it went far from good, but then again, that had been. Well. Different. The Leviathans had been enough, and they'd all suffered for his own mistakes, and he had made up for it. 

He didn't want to think about it. 

But maybe he had to? Maybe this was his suffering, his personal Purgatory?

Wasn't that a thought. 

"We've asked Crowley." Dean's voice brought Cas back, momentarily, and then he shifted his eyes to Sam. 

"We didn't actually ask him this question. Not exactly."

Sam was looking at them both, back and forth, still holding the pages in his hand. "You know what... it isn't a bad idea actually. The Mark of Cain... it's quite something, and those Knights of Hell, I mean... maybe he doesn't know about Abbadon and her plans, but maybe he know about, you know, the Mark? He's been the King of Hell for some time now, anyway. Maybe it's worth a shot?"

Sam looked over at Dean, who slouched over his chair, seemingly uninterested. Cas was a bit worried; he usually wasn't this low-energy, but then again, this wasn't a really normal hunt, was it? Not that their lives had ever been repetitive enough to be anything 'normal', even for hunters, but this was something more. Abbadon might cause havoc, and so many more could die... 

Or was it something else?

Cas looked a bit closer at Dean; was there something else there? Something he himself didn't notice, being so preoccupied with his secret with Crowley?

Did Dean keep his own secrets from him? He wasn't a sharing person, and he had kept much from his brother, so him being secretive about something now wouldn't be so far off. 

A chill went through Cas, at the thought of Dean maybe remembering last night; maybe he just pretended, tried to lure Cas into some kind of trap to out himself. Maybe he had an ulterior motive?

No. Cas ignored the need to shake his head, as the brothers again began talking. About the Mark, about Crowley. He wasn't paying much attention, until they both stood up. 

"Come, we're gonna go talk to Crowley. He might at least point us in the right direction, or, at least, any direction..."

Sam sped past Cas, and Dean wasn't far after, landing a hand on Cas's shoulder. 

"Come on, we're gonna torture a demon. Wouldn't wanna miss that, right?" 

Shaking Cas a little, Dean let go, held his eyes for a little bit longer, and then he was away. 

Cas wondered. Something felt... different. 

He followed them both down into the basement. 

~*~

The light ignited and Crowley blinked rapidly, trying to look up at them. 

"Hello boys."

The brothers walked in, spread out on either side of Crowley, and Cas was unintentionally left right in front of Crowley, with the brothers by his sides. Crowley looked up at them, shifting between the three of them, a small and joyless smile at his lips.  
  
"Come to do the deed, once and for all? Even your beefy brains must have realised I have nothing for you by now. That I'm just some useless demon trapped in some basement with the Winchesters for jailers.”  
  
”Be quiet, we have questions for you” Sam said, standing a bit of to the side, looking intently at Crowley, who met his eyes with his most casual expression.  
  
”Such rigour, such dominance, Moose! Where’s the sorry little kid who cried over his brother to the nearest demon…?”  
  
Before the sentence is done, Sam moves in an lands a punch in Crowley’s face. Crowley makes a sound of surprise, and pain, and maybe something else, Cas wasn’t paying attention to it. He looked at Sam, distraught, caught of guard; this wasn’t part of the plan, and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do about it. He had this feeling that he should act, his back was straightened and his eyes staring at Sam, but he didn’t do anything. Didn’t move a muscle.  
Until he realises he’s staring, and shifts his eyes down to the floor.  
  
”Sam! Chill out, man!”  
  
”Sorry” Sam says, holding his hand, not looking at Dean who’s looking at his brother intensely. Cas knows that look, has been fascinated by it, has felt the need to be on the receiving end of such intense notice from the older Winchester.  
He shakes his head, looks the scene over, eyes landing on Crowley. His lip is bleeding, only slightly.  
For a moment, Cas feels something he attributes to his vessel; looking over Crowley, who sits bound and head hanging to one side, he feels.  
Something.  
  
Crowley suddenly lifts his head slightly, spits blood onto the floor, and begins to talk again.  
  
”I wonder, when you decide to do the deed we’re all waiting for, would you do it fast, or slow, hm? An Angel blade to the proverbial heart, poof, Crowley gone, or maybe it’b be more like this, letting the inner devil loose for a moment. I sure as shit wouldn’t judge; you boys with your valor and intentions pure of heart, you must have some deep desires hidden away, underneath that hunter-look of yours.”  
  
Neither Sam or Dean looks at the demon, but they look at each other, eyes meeting, a hint of rage playing across their features as they hold a quiet conversation.  
Cas looks over them both, then down at the demon, still with his head tilted but now looking up at the brothers, almost daring them to punch him again.  
  
”I wonder, what would it take for you boys to drag it out before you get your hands dirty, literally speaking. Maybe one of you want to take me for a ride, maybe? Dean, given any thought to trying out the old vessel before you shank it, giving your inner bear some room to grow, exploring that side of you? Or you, Moose, interested in some physical lovin' before it's too late? I've heard I've got great moves."  
  
"Shut it, demon." Dean said, taking a single step closer, breaking eye-contact with Sam and staring down at the demon, who meets his eyes. Sam turns away, towards the table on the side, shoulders tense and eyes stint down on his hands. Dean stared the demon down, who was now quiet, but leaned back over his chair like it was a throne, and Cas almost sighed at seeing it.  
  
Sam crossed his arms, lips in a tight scowl at the insinuations Crowley was throwing around, but Cas realised he didn't pay either of the brothers as much attention, because a thought struck him, while standing still right in front of Crowley.  
  
Since entering the room, Crowley hadn't giving him a single look after the first, and he hadn’t met Cas's eyes. It was a little disconcerting; so far, Crowley'd been more then happy to taunt him, to either push his buttons or even help him collect himself in front of Dean, but now it was different.  
  
The voice of the demon was different.  
  
Subdued, if anything. It was a bit strange; hearing his voice, but now it lacked a bit of bite, something vital but easy to miss. Cas wondered as to what that might be, wondered as to why he noticed it. The brothers sure didn’t act like they did.  
Wondered as to why Crowley turned his eyes downward after breaking eye-contact with Dean, and look at his knees or feet instead of meeting his eyes; and also, why Cas was bothered by such thoughts. Why they came to him to begin with.  
Something was off. Something was wrong, and the brothers didn’t seem to notice. That had to be it. Something was happening and neither Dean or Sam seemed to understand that something was off, different; he noticed, but what could he say? That the bound down demon seemed a bit depressed by current events? Like that wasn’t the point of the whole keeping-him-bound-in-a-chair-in-the-basement-thing, a part of trying to make him break.  
  
Cas looked him over; his feet was bound properly, his knees spread a bit wide, arms resting on the armrests and bound as well; he’d done a good job, for once, binding up the demon after their talks.  
Wait.  
Something inside him caught at that thought, something different, but then Sam turned around and both the brothers stared Crowley down, and Cas let the thought slide away, even as he felt like it was tugging at him. 

He looked up, tried to catch Crowleys eyes, but failed. The demon wasn't looking his way, his head turned sideways, glancing over at Sam and the table he stood by, and Cas didn't really get it. He'd been talking to the brothers, inviting them to touch him, and more - it was all jokes, he was sure of it, but this. This after. 

"Crowley."

The demon didn't look at him. 

"Crowley!" The demon didn't move, instead seemed quite frozen in place. Cas looked at him intently, then noticed the brothers looking at him, and shifted his eyes between the two of them, before continuing. "We have questions for you, demon." The words felt fake, but Dean looked down at Crowley, smiling as he did, and Cas felt some tension leave his body. 

"Hear that, asshole? We actually do got some questions for you. Sam?"

Cas left the conversation then, even taking a step backwards, unsure how he'd be able to help in whatever the plan was. Sam had most of the information, and Dean was the muscle, and he... was ignored. By the demon. The brothers he could understand, they where working, their focus was solely on getting what they needed. 

But Crowley was... 

Cas shook his head. Crowley wasn't supposed to be anything other then distraction. He was, at this time, but this wasn’t what was part of the deal. Crowley still didn’t turn his face up.  
It started to unnerve Cas, and it was a strange sensation - he could feel the skin on his vessel pull taunt, shrink back and leave goosebumps, as he took another step back, and let his eyes linger on the demon, who seemed frozen, splayed out. Different. The same aura, that of power, regality, of this being his throne room, was gone.  
He looked…  
Cas saw it.  
He looked beaten.  
  
Sam was talking, Dean was watching, and Cas felt he couldn’t stay. He should say something.  
He felt his throat contract, mouth agape, unsure how to say anything, but he remembered how Dean hadn’t even remembered a thing from last night. That neither of the brothers had made any connection to what might be happening between him and the demon.  
”I… should leave you to it.”  
The words sounded fake to him, but Dean looked up, looked him over quickly, and nodded once.  
Cas responded in kind.  
Then gave Crowley one last look, and turned around, walking out into the room outside, almost gasping for air.  
  
He couldn’t think of this now, but his mind didn’t leave it alone. 

He went upstairs, into the library, letting his eyes glance over all the tomes and scrolls and artefacts, not really seeing them. The mind inside him came back to the way Crowley'd looked, and it was strange. His body felt something strange then. 

All of this was strange. 

Cas didn't know how to handle it, so he sat down where Sam'd been, and started to read the same books, the same scrolls. Maybe that would be enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if there's anything you'd like to see... just comment, or send me a mess on tumblr to chat with me about this. I genuinely love making people (horny) react, and writing kinky/angsty things is like... well, tell me if you have a prompt that might fit in this AU ;) Pls? <3  
> Tumblr: InsanitysQueen or NeverBeenACorpse


	11. About this deal...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers seem to find something interesting, and Crowley is actually of help. Until he asks Castiel of a bit of leeway on the already existing deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. MUCH. PLOT  
> Why do I do this  
> ...  
> Also I might have COMPLETELY forgotten that Kevin was part of the story at this point in canon, but euhm... yeah. No one cares, right? So yeah. Well. He's not here either.

"Cas? Cas!"

 

The familiar voice shook him from his intense staring down into a book, and Cas looked up, seeing Dean standing just a bit away.

 

Holding...

 

"What is he doing here?"

 

Crowley stood in the library, a distance away from himself, bound in chains marked with devil-traps and other arcane symbols, handcuffs and the lot, and Cas stared at him.

 

Crowley looked back.

 

"Hello feathers."

 

A chill spread through Cas's vessel, or something akin to it, a feeling that had him stand up, look from Dean to Sam, who came into view, mouth agape, looking for something to explain this.

 

"Calm down, dude, we've got it under control." Dean said, shaking his hold on Crowley a bit, making the demon take a step forwards, then looking back at Dean with eyes that where far from content. Dean didn't seem to notice, as he was smiling towards Cas. "We're talking the demon out for a ride!"

 

Cas stared at the pair, the bound demon and the hunter holding him, mouth open and confusion clearly visible in his face, he was sure of it. He didn't even try to hide it, as he turned his eyes towards Sam.

 

"They're talking me for a walk, you know, letting the old demon out to sniff some trees and bark at the birdies."

 

"Shut it, or I'll gag you."

 

Crowley rolled his eyes, but didn't answer.

 

"We came up with a plan, of sorts." Sam said, and Cas felt his face contort into something that surely said how doubtful he was of the idea even before he'd heard it.

 

In front of him, he heard Crowley snicker. Cas closed his mouth, swallowed, but didn't turn his eyes towards him.

 

”What, some kind of trap, to lure Abbadon?”

 

Sam shrugged. ”Something like that.”

 

”How…” he didn’t turn his eyes towards the demon, he didn’t look at him, but he felt his eyes turn down as he asked the question, feeling as he was doing something wrong by mentioning it. ”How can we trust him to not escape?”

Cas felt the eyes of the demon on him, not looking up, but he needed to say it. He needed to get it out there, even if he felt it akin to a betrayal. Betrayal. Cas wanted to shake his head; he didn’t understand where that word had come from, and why it felt right.

 

”That’s easy. See these chains? Devil-traps all over them, no way he can escape from them. Found them in the basement, these Men of Letters where some handy dudes, seriously.” Dean said, shaking the bonds that held Crowley, making the demon roll his eyes in frustration, but he didn’t say anything. ”Also, we got you! Our own guardian Angel, ain’t that right Cas?”

 

Cas looked over at Dean, a bit taken aback, but instead of meeting his eyes, he managed to look lower; Crowley was looking at him again, and their eyes met. They held. Cas felt the need to swallow, but couldn’t really do it. It was like Crowley was trying to say something, like Cas should get the message, but he didn’t, and the brothers didn’t interrupt at once. Which made it feel like hours.

 

”Aw, don’t worry Cas, you’re free to gag him if he doesn’t shut up.”

 

"Or if you just feel like it" Sam added, turning towards Dean, smiling playfully. Dean hit his arm, Sam hit back, and they both walked off, down towards the kitchen.

 

Cas was left without another word.

 

For a moment, everything was quiet.

 

"You'd think they'd grow up sometime, but I guess living like every day is your last just makes you incurably childish."

 

Crowley was looking in the direction of where the brothers had gone, and didn't turn to meet Cas's eyes as he turned to look the demon over, demanding some answers.

 

But Crowley didn't seem to deem it necessary to meet Cas's eyes, and had a small smile on the side of his mouth when he started talking again.

 

"I wonder if Moose going to make something edible for the journey. I'd really like something tasteful, but I'd rather die then eat anything that idiot beefcake would pass as food..."

 

Cas wanted to say something, but then the words Crowley'd spoken sank in, and he shifted his question. "Why would you like something to eat? Your vessel does not need sustenance to properly function."

 

At this, Crowley turned towards Cas, and their eyes met. There was a certain gleam in them, and a smile tugging at Crowleys lips, as he spoke. "To get the taste of you out of my mouth."

 

The voice was low, and there was no way either of the brothers could have heard it even if they where in an adjacent room, but Cas looked Crowley over, feeling his vessel heat up towards almost dangerously warm; his face felt warmer then it had any right to be, and for some moments, he could do nothing else then try to breathe. The memory alone was enough to get Cas flustered, but such blatant recollection of it, without warning, and out in the open, was just too much for Cas to be able to handle.

 

"I... I... you fiend! Why would... you demon!"

 

Crowley laughed softly, clinking his chains as he did. "Yes, I am. And unless you'd try to give me another taste, I'd rather remove your particular flavour for the time being." There was a glimt in the demons eyes as he looked into Cas's. "It would be unbecoming of me to sport a boner when the brothers return, wouldn't it? They'd believe it to be something completely different then the real reason, I'm sure, and that would just be weird for all of us. Wouldn't that be correct, my little birdie?"

 

Cas tried to respond, but felt that nothing in his mind could even try to come close to convey the way he felt at the moment, so he took a breath, looked away, turned slightly. He could feel it; the memory of sitting on Crowley's lap, feeling his hands on him. He pushed it away, trying to will the memory out of existence, but it was like he could feel Crowley staring at him. That did nothing to help quell the angst, and anger, rising with his flustered face.

 

"Crowley. I will banish you..."

 

"Ah. So that's that question answered then! Good, I was starting to get a bit worried you'd actually grown fond of me."

 

Cas, taken completely by surprise by that remark, almost forgot the heat of the fluster over his face as he tried to connect to whatever Crowley was talking about. He didn’t understand what question he’d referred to; there’ been no question…?

Then he felt his face drop as he realised that yes, he knew the question. The one Crowley’d asked him last they where alone.

 

”No, that… that wasn’t what I ment…”

 

”Oh? So you wouldn’t banish me then? Grown soft on me, or is it just your wretched humanity getting the better of you?”

Cas opened his mouth but had nothing to say. He didn’t know what to respond; he’d heard how Crowley asked him, the night before, but he hadn’t let it consume his thoughts. Now he had no response.

His mind was in turmoil, because he didn’t know why that was. He tried to reason with himself at the same time as he tried to answer Crowley, but the whole idea of banishing him, of _killing him_ , was hard to grasp.

But he knew he would have to do it, and he tried to explain his own reactions to why he was doubting.

Doubt.

Cas felt his face fall.

Why was he doubting the act of banishing the King of Hell?

 

"Cas! You got you Angel Blad on you?"

 

The deep voice of Dean echoed a bit through the corridor into the hall, catching Cas a bit of quad. His whole body jerked back, switching his eyes from the floor to the open doorway, but there was no one there.

 

"What do you think, you big lumberjack, of course he does!"

 

"Hey shut up Crowley!"

 

Cas's eyes shifted to the demon, who turned his head with a small smile and rolled his eyes at the response. Dean seemed to take the answer for truth though, because he didn't call back. Cas glared at the demon before him.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

Crowley seemed to be completely immune to the angels stare, as he met it with the smile stillby the side of his mouth. "Get your shit together birdie. You can wonder at your philosophical questions later, but right now you really do need to keep an fucking eye out."

 

Cas shook his head slightly. "No, there's no need to keep my eyes out. It would hurt them beyond repair..."

 

"Bloody hell, that's not even close to the point, you seed-filled scarecrow! The point is that I don't want the brothers to put me back in my little cell all too soon, and if you don't play 'normal', if that's even applicable to a situation invändning freaking angels and demons side by side, then this whole little road-trip might be done before it even get a chance to start. Do you understand, my little firefly?"

 

"Don't talk down to me, demon."

 

"Oh bloody hell, don't grow an attitude on me. You can 'demon' me when we're in the car. Right now, I have a type of plan that might need your assistance."

 

Cas looked sideways at Crowley, who was leaning forward slightly, keeping his voice low. The demon seemed sincere, but hurried, and Cas had no idea where this conversation was going.

 

"Right, so. There is a little idea in place of using me as a makeshift bait, as you must have gathered by now. To get the attention of, let's say, Abbadon, we need to do some magic tricks. Preferably far away from the compound, as the warding is particularly effective, and it'd be such a shame if she ever found her way over here. I've really grown quite fond of your cellar lately."

 

"Really?" Cas asked, confused.

 

"No, you nimbwit, but her getting hands on anything down here? She's already strong enough, I'd hate to admit, and anything down here might double her powers, or more. Like her getting hands on some of the spells in these books you got laying around so carelessly."

 

Cas looked around, seeing the books the brothers had been reading still laying open on the table, not far from where Crowley was standing. He began to move to block the view of said books, but Crowley just scoffed at him.

 

"Please, I was raised by a witch and spent hundred of years as a demon. There's nothing there that would surprise me, I'll bet your holy ass on. But to get to the point of this..." Crowley paused, looking down at the floor, but only for a moment. "I need your protection. Or at least some kind of guarantee that the brothers won't dispose of me the moment the plan falls through, no matter the outcome."

 

A special kind of quiet spread through the hall, as Cas looked over at Crowley, their eyes meeting. Cas didn't really know what he could respond, as he didn't really know himself as of now. He'd spent aeons guarding humanity against demons of hell, and here he was, with the King of Hell begging for his protection.

 

The worst was that he actually was pondering it.

 

Crowley seemed to sense this, and gave hima few moment to gather his thoughts before he continued.

 

"Hm. So. I'm not trying to get me released, or even protect me indefinetely; I just don't want to perish at the finish line, so to speak. I want a few moments to either saviour the sweet demise of that hotheaded redhead, or at least be present at the destruction of those bloody Winchesters. Either way, it doesn't really put any strain on you, feathers, either way, you know, keep an eye on me, and everything that might be viewed as a threat." Crowley stared, but more intensely; he downright glowered at Cas, his eyes filled with power and determination, but none of it was of anger or threat. "Think of me as you do of Dean, just for the mission to come. That would be enough to get me back safely."

 

"Don't." The word was out of Cas's mouth before he could hinder it, but Crowley didn't seem to take offence. Instead he leaned back a bit, shifting to the heels of his feet and back, looking Cas over. The look wasn't intense any longer, but Cas didn't feel any more comfortable; the piercing, intense eyes of the demon had become filled with feeling, instead of pure determination.

 

Cas swallowed, as Crowley did a once-over of his body, from his head to his feet and back up. He could feel his body reacting as if he could feel the look; goosebumps over his flesh, and a light twitch inside his clothes as the look dragged over his crotch.

 

"Such a shame. Your vessel is lovely. That you've bound your mind to that brute..."

 

"Don't talk of him like that. He's not only a brute." Cas saw Crowley open his mouth, but didn't want to hear it, and continued talking. "You've already taken part of this vessel anyhow. Why are you ignoring that?"

 

Crowley smiled, a common smile between them these days; filed with promise and mischief. "I never forget a good shag, but it was quite the pleasure to hear the words from you for once."

 

Cas felt his face heat up again, a reminder of his humanity and damaged grace, and the makeshift deal he's put himself in. "That wasn't what I ment..."

 

Crowley laughed. ”Doesn’t matter, my little angel. Haven’t you grasped the concept of innuendo yet?”

”I have, but…”

”Then why are you so stuck up about it? All I’m asking is a little bit of help, and I promise you… well, what more can I promise you? You’ve already cummed on…”

”NO! No, don’t you say another word, demon! You promised…!”

Crowley looked up at Cas, one eyebrow raised, but at least he didn’t say anything more on the subject.

Cas was staring him down, trying to look menacing but he was sure he didn’t get it right. Crowley didn’t seem to be changing his expression. Cas listened in on what was happening around them, but he couldn’t hear anything from the brothers; supposedly they where in the garage, making the Impala ready for a longer journey.

Cas listened in for a bit longer then needed, but Crowley didn’t begin to talk again, and after a while he relaxed, but only a bit.

The demon noticed it, even though he’d looked away, and turned back to face Cas.

”You done freaking out yet?”

Cas stared at the demon. ”You promised to never…”

”I haven’t let anyone know, have I? The bloody Winchesters wouldn’t know how to breathe if it didn’t help them catch monsters, they have no clue about what you’ve been doing with me. They never will, I’m quite sure.”

”That doesn’t give you the right to utter those words aloud while there’s open doors around!”

”Sure. I just have permission to jerk you off…”

”Crowley! There’s no reason to… to do any of this! You could stay safe, down here, you could… I could leave you without shackles, you could walk around. I could leave you food?”

Crowley looked at him, with eyes Cas couldn’t read, but that clearly held something vital.

”While I appreciate how you worry about my safety, that’s not what I need, or even in any way what I asked for. What I want, as I said, is that you… well, I have no better way to put it then ’imagine me as a less tall Dean’.”

Cas eyed Crowley suspiciously. The whole notion of even trying to keep Crowley safe, in any way, was absurd, not to mention even letting him out of the cellar to gain with. This just didn’t make sense.

But neither did sleeping with a demon.

Cas sighed.

”I will try snd keep you out of harms way, but I’m not promising to keep you safe. I don’t know what might happen, and how this will pan out. But I will at least try to keep you in existence, until it’s been done.”

Crowley snickered, and Cas looked at him with confusion.

”Oh feathers. Spoken like a true dealmaking demon; without loose ends and with no way for you to take responsibility for any outcome. I’m almost a bit proud, to tell you the truth.”

Cas resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the blatant teasing, and instead focused on getting on with the conversation. "Is this a deal, and if so, what do you want in return?"

 

"No, no, not a deal, not as such. Just a friendly chat between friends with benefits, making sure we continue to not actively kill each other."

 

Cas eyed the demon, but found nothing but a smile and somewhat honest eyes. Which was a surprise in itself, and maybe even a lure, but he knew how Crowley usually made deals. So far, if they didn't kiss, there'd be nothing binding whatever non-deal Cas got himself into.

 

”Sounds fine, then. I will try to keep you out of Abaddon’s immediate reach, until she’s been dealt with.”

Crowley smiled even bigger at him then. ”Splendid. Now, should we worry about Moose and Squirrel, or should we just assume they know what they’re doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at tumblr or so, maybe even in papers if u in Sweden.   
> NeverBeenACorpse or Insanitysqueen on tubmlr  
> Thanks for reading and coming back here <3


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